It’s time once again to hand in our homework. Each and every week without a major wrestling event, the hosts of the At Odds with Wrestling podcast assign each other something outside of the usual weekly wrestling shows. This week we continue the rewatch of a three month time in WCW that will take us two years to watch. When last we watched WCW it was the SuperBrawl pay per view, and now let’s get to the fallout on Nitro. 

I don’t know when basketball is on TV, but I’m going to guess a game was on TNT on February 21, 2000 because this episode of Nitro is only two hours (hour and a half without commercials). Thank God, because I have things I’m trying to get done this week and an extra hour of a bad night of wrestling wasn’t welcome. 

Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Brothers arrive and Jarrett says they’re going to “show what my nWo is all about.” About way too. much TV time? About covering up tattoos? 

This week’s show is live from Sacramento, CA which is only interesting because live shots from outside that are still in daylight ends up being a bit jarring. 

Mean Gene is going to bring out “this man” for an interview. Who? We never find out who that was meant to be because the Total Package and Elizabeth come out instead. Lex is proud of being 270 pounds and 4% body fat. I would be proud of either of those numbers, let alone both. Hogan comes out and calls Lex, “Flexi Lexi”, which I think is what Adam calls Miss Bliss. Wait, there’s a cage above the ring? I can’t wait for a poorly booked 5 minute steel cage main event! 

Tony Schiavone and Mark Madden are the announce team. 

Jarrett cuts a promo and announces he will get a rematch against Sid. Hey, how about a match for the US title? Speaking of, where is the US title? 

Sid pulls up in a limo. Kidman and Torrie have lost the Kid-Cam. Madusa shows up in her Tommy Hillfiger gear (remember when that was a huge thing for women? At least the women I was looking at at the time) and discovers she has no match tonight. She breaks the white board (still used on shows today) and screams “I want a women’s division.” I mean, same, but how many good options were there at the time? Madden says she’s throwing a “tantrum” and that kind of attitude is probably the real reason there’s not a division. 

Kidman (with Torrie Wilson) vs Lash LeRoux. 

Nothing to write here because the Harris Brothers come out and beat up both men. Oh good. This is going to be a great show. Jarrett and the Harris boys running loose on a short episode. 

Vampiro hangs out in the darkness. I don’t blame him. 

Hey, someone found the Kid-Cam. Buff is hitting on Symphony but she says she has a boyfriend. Madden implies Symphony is a slut. And hey, if anyone else watched Dark Side of the Ring this week you’ll know that Madden called out the wrong person in this segment. 

Vampiro vs Fit Finlay. 

Ms Hancock is the centerfold of the latest WCW magazine, and please ignore the cover article spotlighting the new nWo which already has ceased to exist. I await hearing Adam’s weekly purchases for this issue. 

I don’t know if this is a hardcore match or if no one gives a shit about the rules. Finlay uses his cast and a chair. This match feels really off and neither guy seems to give a shit. Finlay is making Vampiro look motivated. Finlay hits the post, Vampiro rolls him up for the pin, and Finlay attacks Vampiro after the match. So we have this feud to look forward to as this era of WCW continues. 

Maestro attacks Buff Bagwell while Symphony watches. I hear they have special chairs for that. Madusa whispers something to La Parka. I suddenly want to be the Chairman of WCW. The Nitro Girls dance and this is becoming more and more diminishing returns every week. 

Mean Gene interviews Booker and says he has a match. 

Booker vs. ?

Not Disco Inferno, which is what Gene said. Now it’s Booker vs the Mamalukes and he’s taking the tag team champions out by himself like only a world champion can do. Johnny the Bull doesn’t know how to take the Book End. Disco interferes, causing a DQ win. The Harris Brothers come out and attack everyone. I mean why wouldn’t a promotion feature these two multiple times an episode? They’re known for their 5 star work, as long as one of those stars isn’t the Star of David. 

Mean Gene interviews Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes. 

Tony and Mark talk about referee Roddy Piper. 

Sid watches TV and laughs. This is all captivating TV. 

Mean Gene interviews Harlem Heat. Big T makes a bold choice with this pink sweatsuit outfit. The new big man – Cassius – is purposely standing sideways like the photographer told him to while getting the family portrait done at Sears. 

Oklahoma comes out for the Cruiserweight title match. 

Tony is promoting something and tells Oklahoma, “I’m selling’” to which OK responds, “you’re the only one who does.” Wow. Wow that is quite the dig. 

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea (Cruiserweight champion) (with Paisley) vs La Parka. 

It is obvious that La Parka has not come down, but rather that is Madusa dressed as La Parka. I think Madusa could beat TAFKAPI. I’m all for this. Oklahoma comes in and removes the mask. The real La Parka comes out and hits Oklahoma with a chair. TAFKAPI hits RLP with a chair and then a DDT thing for the pin. I wrote down WTF for almost every match on this show. The Artist and Paisley celebrate by crawling towards each other while ignoring the bodies that surround them. 

I could really go for some 99 cent crispy chicken nuggets right now. 

Jarrett and the Harris Brothers walk, but obviously this was filmed earlier, is there no continuity to this show?! Who had that job?! Funk and Rhodes walk as well. 

Ric Flair is hyping up Lex and his promo just cuts off. I swear WCW production team must have just finished their high school play before they came to work. 

Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes vs the Harris Brothers. 

Jarrett joins for commentary. This goes way too long for what is blatantly obvious is going to happen. Funk wrestles the whole match. Jarrett tries to interfere, which brings out Sid. JJ breaks a guitar over security. Sid chases Jarrett. What the hell is Storm? (Pepsi testing out their version of Sprite but with caffeine.) As Sid is chasing Jarrett, Dustin finally gets the tag and immediately turns on Funk. Which we all saw coming but it happens in the middle of this other thing happening. Dustin beats up Funk pretty good, but we don’t know why. Jarrett and Sid drive away. Funk takes a nasty chair show. Madden continues to sound horrible with a concussion joke. 

Mean Gene interviews Buff. 

Terry Funk is getting loaded into an ambulance when Dustin attacks again. Then Dustin drives off in the ambulance. This could have been over the top entertaining but it never crosses that threshold and stays in what the hell am I watching land. 

Mean Gene interviews Sid and he says “hell is Uncensored”. We’ll watch that show in a few weeks (months) but I have no doubt I’ll feel like I’m in hell too. 

Security holds back Kidman and Booker from attacking the Harris Brothers. Oh I can’t wait for these matches next week. 

Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair. 

Buff vs. Maestro (with Symphony). 

The ladies love Buff. There’s a fan that looks like if Mick Foley and Miz’s dad had a kid. The ‘Stro accidentally tackles Symphony. Ernest Miller comes out and distracts Stro enough for Buff to hit his Blockbuster for the pin. Ernest plays Stro’s new mucus which sounds like some rap hype thing. Are the lyrics Mae-Stro? Mae-Stro. Mae-Stro. C-E-O. C-E-O. Wait, that’s someone else. Stro takes out the referee in anger. I’m guessing this leads to Symphony being with someone else. 

The Wall walks. 

Why does Sid dive into a limo? This made no sense to me. Did I miss something? Was Jarrett in there? This seems like a heel move. 

Nitro Girls are in cages and this is more entertaining than the upcoming cage match. 

We get highlights from WCW Saturday Night. Hacksaw Jim Duggan picks the WCW TV title out of the trash and is the new champion. He defeats Robert Gibson and accepts a challenge from Steven Regal for next week. 20 plus years later and while Hacksaw looks old then and older now, Regal looks better now. Robert Gibson looks both ways. 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs the Wall. 

Wall attacks Triple B as he slowly walks down the aisle. This isn’t even a walk and brawl. A stall and brawl? There are glimmers of when Bigelow was a beast. Bam is up on the ropes and Wall uses this opportunity to grab him for a chokeslam and the pin. Guess he wasn’t getting up Bigelow otherwise. There’s a lot of stalling for time here to get the Wall over but ultimately no one cares. 

Hogan punches a cage. 

Ric Flair talks to David Flair and Arn Anderson. 

The cage lowering music is maybe the worst music in WCW. 

Mean Gene interviews Hogan. 

Lex and Flair attack and capture Jimmy Hart. All three make their way to the ring. Hogan comes out for the main event. There are ten minutes left in the show. There’s a longer than expected fight outside of the cage before the match finally gets into the cage. This is a “last man standing” cage match, which is actually escape the cage to win. No pin falls, no submissions. No way either of these guys climbs over a cage. Also, there is no “combination of Hulk and Hollywood.” Hogan always did heel things, he just did them to heels. Lex loves the elbow drops. Lex puts Hogan in the Torture Rack, but there’s no referee under the rules of this match. Hogan Hulks up and hits the boot and leg drop. Flair comes in and attacks Hogan, but he’s too Hulked up to sell. Boot and leg for Flair too. Liz slides in a chair which takes a year for anyone to find and use. Finally Hogan gets hit with the chair, and Lex and Flair take turns beating down Hogan. They beat up security too and that’s when the show goes off the air. 

However, under the rules of the match, you have to imagine that Lex and Flair left the cage. Then Hogan gets up and poses to the crowd, or sells the beating. Maybe they do a quick dark match main event. Either way, Lex more than likely exits the cage first which means Lex wins the match. I know, if it doesn’t happen on TV, it doesn’t happen, until it does. 

All I can say is thank God this was only an hour and a half. We thought we watched the worst Nitro but I would put this one on the all time bad list.