That’s a long title.

Assigned by Adam of At Odds with Wrestling, we all know this isn’t going to be fun.

Each and every week there’s not a PPV, the At Odds with Wrestling podcast assigns a homework wrestling event. I latch on to their success and also watch the show. This week Adam picked the debut episode of Cody Rhodes training school, the Nightmare Factory.

Now, apparently everyone wrestling during this one hour that felt like 3 has only been training for 12 weeks. That is 12 more weeks than I have ever trained. I have respect for anyone willing to get into the ring. I am not judging the people at all. This is just observations based on characters and work seen in the ring during these matches. I’m sure they’re all lovely people in real life.

Okay, the show starts and the opening music tells us to “go hard”. I’ll do my best.

Cute ring announcer. Her name never shows up on screen though. The building and the set up isn’t bad. Upper level independent wrestling quality.

Hayden Backlund vs Logan Taylor.

Hayden is related to Bob Backlund. I forget how. He comes out channelling CM Punk. Logan comes in as the power house. He’s not that big for a wrestler but that is definitely the role he has been cast in. Hayden is a natural heel. Logan most likely has amateur wrestling experience. He has good movement for being so new. Backlund fakes an injury to get the advantage. He might have something here with this heel persona but his punches need some work. Logan hits a nice elevated choke slam thing. He takes the straps down. Then he puts the straps up. Then he takes the straps down again. Then he takes a whisky drink…We get an attempted ref bump spot. Backlund hits Logan in the nuts, then locks on his family’s cross face chicken wing hold. As he calls it, the Bloodline. Backlund gets the win.

Babie and Audina Divinity vs Brooke Havok and Kat Spencer.

I heard the names and got Babie and Audina confused between who I thought was who. Audina needs to loosen up and not walk around like she’s holding in a poo. Brooke and Kat roll in in a Corvette that probably doesn’t belong to any of them. Babie dumps some soda on the car.

OMG another commercial?! I’ve never had so many commercials on a YouTube video.

Brooke and Babie loose a lot of time stopping to think to set up their next spots. Babie needs to loosen up too. All of them do. They’re all over thinking every moment. That said, I think Babie has potential to be a 21st century Missy Hyatt. Why is Kat, the bigger of the two, the one taking the beat down? Oh, because Brooke is better. Kat sneaks up behind Babie, hits a Razor’s Edge, and Brooke comes in to make the pin.

We have a cluster of a battle royal next. Brian Andrews – leather and polka dots. Cal Flahaun or something – Irish. Nan Botello – mask. Mercury Peace – has a face like Andre’s. Dom Damian – thinks he’s pretty but not. Luca Procter – beanie hipster. KC Rocker – green hair. Abraham Storm – taped fists, so far he’s my pick.

Storm cuts a promo. There’s potential there but he rambles too much. Needs a more focused promo. Everyone else just stands around like a high school play because another character is talking and they don’t know what to do. What do I do with my hands? Storm gets surrounded. Nice spot where he gets up the one guy he knocked down and says you may as well get in on this too. Storm tossed out first. There goes my pick. Everyone here can hit a good move or spot but I don’t think any of them can put a match together yet. Makes sense to dump them all into a battle royal. Dom Damian wins by last eliminating Andre Face.

It’s only been 30 minutes.

Hunter Knott and Rosario Grillo – team Date Rape vs Jacob Ryan and Josh Breezy – the Nice Guyz.

Nice Guyz looks like Public Enemy meets Dolph Ziggler when they come out. Good snap arm bar. Knott actually has some good bursts and snaps in his moves. Breezy has a good look to him but the only way to see it is on the outside of the ring for 95% of the match. Good work stopping the hot tag. Breezy finally gets a hot tag and hits a lot of nice spots in a very little amount of time but then doesn’t seem to know what to do next. Double top rope moves by Nice Guyz and a double kick out.

Call of the night from the announcers:

“What a match!”

“Are you serious?”

There is a massive edit when Breezy botches the skin the cat move. Date Rape ends up getting the pin. I would feel bad calling them that, but later in the show I feel they earn it.

Dan Alexander (Chest star) vs Carlie Bravo (USMC guy).

Both guys have good looks to them. Probably already in shape and had athletic experience before walking into the factory. Story is all Dean wearing Bravo down. Dean with many over confident pin attempts. Bravo shows off his tattoos. Bravo hits an axe kick for the pin.

Probably the two best guys on the show but lacking a story or reason to draw the crowd into the match.

Dean hugs Bravo then attacks him. Nice Guyz come in to save Bravo. Then the Dark Order and Anna Jay come out to attack?! They come and go way too fast. Everyone else that was on the card comes out one at a time to hit a move and then leave. Patiently waiting their turn. Like real fights. Dasha, the ring announcer, hits the Irish guy with a mic. Still cute. I’ll need more details there later. Now all of the women come out for their round of one on one spots. Date Rape comes out and surrounds and intimidates Babie. Don’t hit moves, just making everyone uncomfortable. In the last spot Brooke Havoc takes out Backlund.

I could see some of this talent growing on me. Maybe as the weeks go on I’ll start championing one of them I have a connection with. Also, if Tough Enough taught me anything, some of these people will drop out the harder it becomes. I’m not curious enough to always commit to an hour, but I’m curious enough to check it out if I hear something good online.