Its a damn shame its taking me this long to watch Raw, but work has been awful lately.  I should quit!  This blog post can be read for a payment of $100.  I’ll be here waiting.

In the mean time, lets take a look at the Raw before the Hell in a Cell PPV.  Times are provided by the one and only Solace Winter, who we all thank very much.

The show starts off hot!

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. Team Rhodes Scholars in the finals of the #1 Contender tag team tournament.

Hot damn this is a good match.  The best Sin Cara has ever looked.  Cody and Rey have great chemistry, as they should after all their matches.  Sandow is a future contender for any title.  As said before, I still hope Damien gets a new finisher called the Rafi Bomb.  Hashtag The League.

Neither team has matching ring gear and yet thanks to this tournament we accept them both as legitimate tag teams.  This has been the best tag team booking in WWE in years.  Maybe even a decade.  I’m ready to accept any of these teams as champions.

Listen to this crowd!  There were some great two counts and twists at the end of the match and the crowd popped for each and every one.  Cody gets the pin and Team Rhodes Scholars are going to HIAC!

Rhodes Scholars vs. Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara – 8:14

It wasn’t that long ago that a tag team match would get half to a third of this length of time.  The rebuilding of the tag team division might be the most surprising event of all of 2012.  Great match and I have huge hopes the title match on the PPV gets at least as much time.

The last time I heard a crowd that excited for a tag team match was the first Edge and Christian vs. Hardyz ladder match.  Gimmicks aren’t needed to pop the crowd, great wrestling always has and still works.

Team Hell No cut a brief promo on the new number one contenders.  Boom!  Fire!  That’s about all.

I totally forgot Kofi won the Intercontinental title.  So much wrestling to watch.  I need to get caught up.

Kofi Kingston (IC champ) vs. … holy shit, Michael McGillicutty is on Raw!

Mike is doing very well in this match.  Looks good, holding his own.  Just needs to get some momentum.  Michael Cole says the people of Egypt think Kofi represents them well.  How many countries are going to claim Kofi in his career?!

Just when McGillicutty gets something going he eats a big boot full of Trouble in Paradise.  Ouch.  Kofi wins what ended up being a warm up match for this weekend.

Kofi Kingston vs. Michael McGillicutty – 2:26

I thought Michael had a good match, but only two and a half minutes?  Ouch.  This might be a glorified Superstars match.  Just a shade above a squash.  Poor McG.

John Cena comes out to cut a promo hyping up Ryback and antagonizing CM Punk.  Punk comes out with Paul Heyman and really Punk schools Cena yet again.  Punk calls out Cena for being nothing more than a hype man for Ryback.  Then Cena’s response falls apart with only a modicum of thought.  “You’re gonna need that title this Sunday.”  Well, yeah.  If he didn’t have the title then it wouldn’t be a title match.  Nor would he be champion.  Pre ass whooping?  Not your best work John.  Cena and Punk almost fight but the champion backs off.

Antonio Cesaro (US champion) vs. Justin Gabriel.

A rematch?!  Well this could be interesting.  Justin dives over the top and that’s how the match starts!  Antonio is injured but when you’re in the middle of your first run with a WWE title you tough it out.  Cesaro says no American can beat him.  Jim Ross says what about a South American.  Implying Gabriel.  Isn’t he from South Africa?

Hell of a back and forth match.  Antonio is the best secret in WWE today.  Speaking of secrets though the final moments of this match are full of doubt.  As in, while viewing I cant believe things are happening.  Antonio will come back from the head kick.  He’ll put his feet up or roll out of the 450 splash.  He’ll kick out.  None of it happens.  Justin just clean pinned the US champion.  I am looking forward to match number three.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel – 4:38

Antonio does more in four minutes than most wrestlers do in double that.  I’m still shocked by the ending.  Hopefully these two get lots of times for the final match of this trilogy.

A limo pulls up!  We are live on Nitro!  Oh nevermind, Mr McMahon and AJ get out.  Well this could be interesting.

Back from break and both Vinny Mac and AJ are in the ring.  AJ says there are accusations she’s been “fraternizing” with a Superstar.  Oh WWE TV PG.  Fraternizing?  Anyways.  AJ says the rumors are false, but she also feels like its inevitable she’ll be removed from this position.

Full credit to AJ for this promo.  She’s too big, too popular to be fired from WWE but this promo is so very real.  This “kid” should not be able to cut a promo this good.

And then it continues.  Paul Heyman spins gold on the mic.  He puts over everything he needs to in that slimy devilish way that only he can.  Give it up for Paul saying AJ’s biggest obstacle was being born a Jersey Girl.  Paul tries to worm his way in to the GM spot and its classic Heyman.  Vince says no and brings out Vickie Guerrero to be in charge (for tonight).

Paul then immediately tries to cuddle up to Vickie.  Its such great heel work.  Two people the fans love to hate but respect immensely.  Tonight’s main event is made and this segment is crazy good.

Speaking of crazy.  Vickie turns her attention to AJ and says its not a matter of fraternizing.  No, AJ had an affair with one of the Superstars.  Vickie throws AJ out and its building and building.  There it is!  AJ attacks Vickie and its a damn good brawl.  Either the two of them don’t like each other in real life, or have great respect and trust for each other (that’s my guess) because this was some fantastic work by both women.

I bitch and moan a lot about promos that go way too long.  But this whole thing was perfect.

The Miz vs. Ryback.

Ryback’s clothesline is called the Meat Hook?  That’s actually pretty fantastic.  And the finisher is now officially called Shell Shock.  This accidental building up of Ryback has been a blast.  Tensai failed.  Brodus Clay became a comedy act.  Then here is this beast that the fans adopted and WWE had no choice but to push him.  I’m very intrigued for Sunday.

Ryback vs. The Miz – 2:31

Its a good match length to continue to build Ryback as a monster.  But who did Miz piss off?  He has so many highs and lows.  Anytime they give him a chance he succeeds and then is dropped right down again.  It will be very interesting to see where he goes next.

Eve is on the phone saying AJ is a whore (well, in a PG way).  Kaitlyn shows up and calls out Eve on attacking Kaitlyn weeks ago.  Words and bitchiness and its actually a pretty good segment.  Then Eve slaps Kaitlyn and we have a good ole’ fashioned cat fight!  Layla comes in to stop it but then joins in too.  Its been a while since we’ve seen a good Diva fight and this was well done.

Sheamus is interviewed.  Big Show interrupts.  Hype for their PPV match.  Not too much other than a commercial for a Brawlin’ Buddy.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler.

This is a main event level match right here.  Dolph and Daniel are going balls out here.  For nothing really.  I mean, there’s no title nor a shot at a title on the line here.  Its just the quest for greatness.  And greatness had showed up in this match.  There’s a nasty suplex to the outside that should have finished a lesser man, but not D-Bryan.

Kane comes out to ringside just for fun.

The match continues to be great.  Daniel is down for a bit and Kane tries to rally the fans behind him with a Yes chant.  Bryan stops to yell at Kane for this and that’s enough for Ziggler to take advantage.  Dolph hits a Zig Zag from the ropes and picks up the pin.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler – 10:51

This match was so close to being the best of the night, but it needed that thing to put it over.  Maybe if it was for a singles title, or title shot.  Maybe if it wasn’t set up for the angle in the next segment.  Still very good.  10 minutes time is a lot of faith.  After watching these two I think they could go 5 times that length and still look strong.

Brilliant booking.  Everyone still looks strong.  Dolph gets some momentum. Kane and Daniel continue their story.  Man, Raw is ON tonight.

Matt Striker comes out and announces that Daniel and Kane are about to be on the Newly-Tag game show.  My fingers are crossed for this to be hilarious.  And they’ll be playing against Team Rhodes Scholars!  OK, this could be good.

Kane: I enjoy rainbows, puppies and long walks on the beach.  I’m ready to piss myself in laughter and this is before Cody and Damien have come out.  Rhodes Scholars only come out long enough to cut a “we’re going to beat you at the PPV” promo and then leave.  Bryan celebrates their win.  Striker runs away.  And right into the Big Show.  Well that sucks for him.

Big Show vs. Kane (with Daniel Bryan).

These two have wrestled each other so many times in their careers and I can only think of one time that I was surprised by them.  Surprised in that I thought it was good.  Its so so rare for two big guys to put on a good match with each other.  This is not it.  Its a very slow match and honestly, its hurting my interest in seeing Show vs. Sheamus at HIAC.  The Rhodes Scholars come out, which distaracts both Daniel and Kane.  Thankfully Big Show uses this to knock out Kane and put this match to an end.

The Rhodes Scholars attack Daniel.  Kane is already out.  The champs are down!  In a minute I’m more excited for the Tag title match than the World title match.

Kane vs. Big Show – 5:33

Why?  I mean I know why, but really?  Over five minutes for the immovable object vs…. another immovable object?  Big guy matches should never go this long.  Also, these two should only face off in tag matches and battle royals.

John Cena talks to AJ and it was Cena all along!  Well, they had a business dinner and someone thought it looked a little too intimate.  Why do I feel like we’ll find out AJ drugged Cena and took naked pictures of him?  Tune in next week!

John confronts Vince and it really wasn’t needed as this segment deflated the story.  McMahon says they are just using this as an excuse to fire AJ, because they’d have to fire her at some point anyways.  Also, no one knows what “Managing Supervisor” means.  It really harmed the story and made Vince look like a puppet.

Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Zack Ryder.

Ryder is wrestling a very competitive match against a multi time world champion.  I mean, he’s going to lose and we all know it, but he’s doing well.  Del Rio has had some good matches in the last few months.  But Cole and JR seem very snarky in this match.  “How much does the Internet champion earn?”  Um, enough to create a rabid fan base that buys all of his merchandise.  Who makes more money in merch sales, Del Rio or Ryder?  That’s what I thought.

Anyways, as expected Alberto wins.  He then attacks Zack and calls him Randy.  I’m not sure if he’s trying to make a point and hype up his match on Sunday against Randy Orton or if its a throw back to the works of Mike Adamle.  Give it up for Jeff Harvey!

Side note, I really expect Orton to be fired or suspended or whatever other word you want by the end of the year.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder – 2:48

Ryder doesn’t have the shortest match of the night!  Something weird was going on here.  Three minutes to build up Del Rio is fine.  Zack got in a little bit of offense.  No Orton?  Not even on the screen?  And why talk ill of Ryder?  I think there’s more to this three minutes than we yet know.

John Cena has words for Vickie Guerrero.  I suddenly want this to become WWE’s version of Game of Thrones.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman talk.  Its the usual just before the main event talking time.

30-35 Lumberjacks come out to the ring.  95% of fans cant name all of the guys who just walked out.  A lot of guys you don’t see very often on TV.  Is that Mason Ryan?!  I had honestly forgotten about him.  Drew McIntyre now wears a cowboy hat.  Cowboy hats are cool.   Also, Mason is on the face side.  So, in case you’re keeping score.

Sheamus (World champion) vs. CM Punk (WWE Champion, with Paul Heyman).  Raw’s largest Lumberjack match ever.

Slow going start to the match.  Really feels like they’re phoning it in.  Which usually means its all about killing time until whatever is supposed to happen, happens.  The Lumberjacks aren’t fans of either men, but less so of Sheamus than CM Punk it seems.

How many of you caught the Knowledge Tree out there.  Wade Barrett standing next to William Regal who is bestowing wisdom.  If Wade listens he will have one hell of a career.

The Lumberjacks are starting to get angry at each other.  Oh, I bet they all fight and the referee is distracted and Big Show interferes.

The second half of this match gets good.  Punk and Sheamus have a very competitive match.  It becomes a showing off battle.  You guys are all on the outside?  Fine, lets show what we can do in here.

Sheamus gets dumped out on the heel side, which should be it.  But then he Super Sayians up and hits White Noise on Punk.  Antonio and Jinder interfere, and that’s enough for the referee to get distracted.  Sure enough, Big Show sneaks up and hits a choke slam on Sheamus.  CM Punk gets the pin and that’s all.

Feed. Me. More.

Ryback comes out and never before have the good guy Lumberjacks done so much.  They keep tossing Punk back in the ring to get a beating.  Good job Punk for selling everything Ryback throws at him.  Every slam, and every variation of it, looks like a finishing move. Well, now I’m really not sure what will take place at Hell in a Cell.

CM Punk vs. Sheamus – 15:15

Average first half of the match.  Much better second half.  Also, the two big champions should always get more time.  15 minutes on Raw seems fair.