Every late 80’s/early 90’s wrestling fan will remember some of the worst “profession” gimmicks. This was an era of trial and error, and with most of these gimmicks turned out to flop. The Undertaker is the most successful of these, but even the profession has fallen by the wayside, traded in for a darker, more serious character. One that will go unrivaled for a long time. The greats of the 80’s and 90’s never needed a working man’s gimmick as they were the working men of the company. Greats like Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, and Bret Hart were great because they proved it. These guys, weren’t so great. To make this a little more fun and bearable, I’ll present these in action figure form.

4. Glacier

Remember the days when you were young and Mortal Kombat was the the most cool fucking game you ever played in your life?! Well apparently WCW did too circa 1996. The rip off? Sub-Zero of course, who was cooler than the damn ninjas of MK. So as professional video game characters go, It was purported that Glacier’s ring entrance, easily the most extravagant of all time, cost roughly half a million dollars to pull off and his costume a mere $35,000. Mistake #1? They went with the damn Mortal Kombat III version. The fact that it took him two plus minutes to actually go through his routine, generally lasted longer than the match itself. What teen didn’t go nuts for this guy; sadly, this gimmick, ring entrance and all the frills were abandoned along with the character. Also, notice how his theme song sounded exactly like the theme to the Mortal Kombat movie!

3. Repo Man

I’ll start by saying Barry Darsow didn’t need to do this. Hell, the guy was a successful tag team wrestler as Smash in Demolition, only to reinvent himself as a repo man? The first thing he taught us was that apparently repo men wear Zorro/Lone Ranger masks? I sure as hell don’t remember that in the film staring Emilio Estevez. Secondly, why did he have a tire tread on his wrestling tights? Do repo men get run over frequently? The biggest mystery stems from his rivalries with The British Bulldog and Randy Savage; just why? Whatever WWF/E was thinking then, the Repo Man faded from history sadly to be remembered by people like me.

2. Tatanka

WWE’s most racially insensitive character since Chief Jay Strongbow was done in such a way that, as a kid, and even as an adult, I never realized. My first PPV match; Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow at the 1994 Royal Rumble. My first real exposure to this Native American wonder, and I was rooting for him. Why? Cuz you always rooted for the good guy! Always! Today, it’s still the same, and at my last WWE show, I felt betrayed by the crowd when they didn’t understand why I was rooting for Biff Tanen. But I digress, the most disturbing aspect of this character was that he made a return from 2005-2007 as the same damn character! Some may call this tribute, but really? I’m pretty sure Native American’s are more civilized than this now.

1. Gobbledy Gooker

Let’s set the stage here. The year? 1990. The PPV? Survivor Series and an egg that had been on display for months, promising to hatch at this PPV. What emerges is WWE’s worst gimmick EVER! The Gobbledy Gooker, AKA Hector Guerrero in a chicken suit. There is no wrestling mark in history that does not know this blunder, it’s unforgettable, etched in your brain like that time you started macking on a transgendered prostitute. The Gooker was born and died at Survivor Series after it was an instant failure. WWE has teased this over the years with various wrestlers, and you have no idea how hard I hit the floor laughing when I saw that someone created an action figure for this. Do yourself a favor, get your hands on the 1990 Survivor Series, relive bad history!