I’m going to get in so much trouble this week.
4. Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater
I like Ryder, I was a fan of his when I first saw him on ECW when he was still rocking the one pant leg on his attire. As he grew I enjoyed him more. Even as he became a walking-catch-phrase I enjoyed him. But as someone else pointed out, he’s the lowest rung guy to have entered the Five Moves of Doom territory which made this match have not only a predictable ending, but a predictable story. Slater takes it all like a champ and Scott does his best to commentate some livelihood into it, but even Ryder seems to be frustrated as he does his, “What?” when it’s only a 2 count and instead of looking a the ref, or Slater, or anyone else, he kind of stares at the tron. People are losing interest in Ryder, but I fear it might be because he’s lost interest himself.
3. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs. JTG and Michael McGillicutty
Again, a terribly predictable ending, but the storytelling and match choreography is not as predictable. Kofi does his, “Boom! Boom!” and JTG makes fun of it outside of the ring with McGillicutty laughing beside him. McGillicutty and JTG actually have great chemistry as a tag team and move like they have been working with each other for months as opposed to having had a one-off sometime months ago. McGillicutty does a baseball slide and a flip to Truth that left me impressed and JTG gets a chance to not just be a comedic act in the ring. R-Truth is great, he has fun, but Kofi is the same ol’ same ol’. Luckily, Scott’s commentary keeps the slow parts of the match lively.
2. Scott Stanford
Speaking of Scott. Yes, he’s number two this week, but in my heart you know he’s number one, but this week a match won out. Scott has great one-liners, as usual, and explains about his learning exactly what a “Honky Tonk Badonka donk” is as well as explaining that the reason Slater was eliminated first in the last battle royale is because no one wanted to take on Khali and that he was willing to do it, though in retrospect it might not have been the best idea. Scott lends his voice and storytelling to Superstars, as usual, and he awakens the two matches he sat in for. But one match stood out on its own…
1. Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd
Yes, Cesaro won. Yes, it was predictable. Yes, I like Kidd more. BUT, and it’s a good one, this was an incredible match. Kidd can’t put on a bad match (when he’s not told to take the squash) and this time they are given the opportunity to use up their abilities on one another. Kidd makes Cesaro look good and Cesaro seems to either take things more seriously now that he’s been brought up, or his skill has grown in spades in just a few short weeks. Either way, this match shines out through the others. And Cesaro was accompanied by Aksana, which is always a plus.
And I’m blaming the fact that Scott didn’t wear a tie this week for the reason he is at number two.
Scott’s best lines of Superstars:
“The freshness of JTG with the ground and pound stylings of McGillicutty.”
“Truth working on getting Lil’ Jimmy a Championship belt.”
“JTG, he wouldn’t be a dinosaur, he would be a flynosaur.”
“That’s gotta do it! JTG to pick up the win here on Super- No!”
“Honky Tonk Badonka Donk.”
“You know, Flo Rida talks a bit game, I don’t know if he’d actually want to step into a WWE ring with Heath Slater.”
“So you don’t get Beyonce one night, you use Heath Slater.”
“You know what show I haven’t been on? Are You Serious with you and Road Dogg.”
“Broski Boot into your living room!”
HELLIONS TEAM 
Well, Vince’s ongoing murder of NXT might have indirectly helped the quality of Superstars, because there wasn’t a below average in-ring guy on Superstars at all this week. Unfortunately, that’s because Khali and Zeke keep getting used to further ruin NXT, but I digress.
Good episode of Superstars. I’m inclined to agree with what you said about each match, and not just because I watched the show with you and possibly talked about it.
In a way, it’s good that Kidd/Cesaro was on Superstars, because we got to enjoy an actual match. Had they put it on Smackdown, it would have lasted two minutes now that Smackdown is the new Raw.
The tag match was good, but now we can add JTG/McGillicutty to the list of teams I enjoy more than the current Tag Champions.
It took Joe to point this stuff out to me, but with Zack’s theme song, his gimmick, and his thing with Eve, Zack Ryder is the Corey Hart of the WWE. He wears those damn sunglasses in dark areas and I want to take am and throw them against the wall! WWE has let him become the armpit of their organization again! Cesaro is gold! I hope this guy goes places. He’s got a great move set, great gimmick and Aksana will get him exposure.
Definitely Kidd vs. Cesaro was no1 of the show…
However this week, the commentary was quite annoying, Scott couldn’t seem to STFU ever.. it was non stop talking. Some “stories” are nice, but some are like.. WTF are you talking about?? Matthews was a complete troll on the mic. A major dickface overall. Not playing off Scott or even saying much of anything.. this is either because Scott wouldn’t stop talking or was dead to the world.
one thing we did notice… was during the Cesaro match.. either Matthews or Striker commented about Antiono learning the “Chikara Style”… we listened twice, and that appears to what he had said… which would be a nice shoutout to Chikara.
But overall #SuperStars was a pretty good show. Good Wrestling Zero story (save whatever Scott comes up with) ;D
This reply is sure to anger the Solace One.
And then no one heard from the men called Zack Ziggler again.
Besides, if Josh isn’t talking, commentators jobs are to, you know, talk. With Josh dead to the world the majority of the time, I give Scott props for being able to fill the silence without seeming forced as opposed to just allowing time to go by with radio silence.
I loved Superstars this week, though I disagree with a couple of your points. Though, the order of matches I enjoyed would be the same.
Ryder/Slater was enjoyable, even if Ryder wasn’t completely “fresh.” I didn’t completely feel the “Five Moves of Doom” vibe here like I’d normally feel elsewhere. He did a different move here and there, and he played off of Slater’s heelish actions well. Without Slater, though, this match would have been more average, probably. SLATER FTFW! Also, I think Cesaro/Kidd would have benefit more from having this time-slot, and giving Ryder/Slater the opening match.
I really enjoyed JTG & McGuillicutty vs. Kofi & Truth. Unlike you, I felt Kofi was doing a decent job of seeming more interesting with so little. Plus, he and Truth are starting to work in some double-team moves that look nice(The Enziguri/Kick to the Face was sweet), and if they start double-teaming in a method similar to Air Boom, then Kofi will seem to improve if only because he truly belongs in an environment where he has more than one other person to work with on spots(Tag Team matches or Three/Four-ways). He also sold well in this match, and continued to sell after the bout was over, holding his head that his opponents were working on and everything. I’m not particularly a Kofi fan, and I feel JTG and McGuillicutty is what made this match “special,” but I feel this has been one of his best displays since Air Boom split up.
Stanford may have been a bit “story-heavy” during the Ryder/Slater match, but I mostly felt he stayed pretty focused on the action. Also, Josh admits that commentating with Scott on Superstars is his favorite part of the week. Even more endorsements for him to be promoted, I say.
Lastly, Cesaro/Kidd totally gets the top spot. I almost gave it to the tag match due to length differences, but that doesn’t matter: this match was jaw-dropping at points. I loved how Cesaro seemed to dominate, but every chance Kidd would get for an attack or counter, he’d go for a pin, almost as if he was trying to finish this as quick as possible, knowing that Antonio clearly outweighs him in power. The finish was just sickening, and what completely set the match off. Without that wicked European Uppercut, it would have been under the Tag match.
Awesome show with a lot of great performers. I loved it. Loved your review, too, even if I didn’t agree with every last bit.