Hello and welcome once again to the smarkingest wrestling smark on the Internet talking like he knows something.  I’m too nonathletic to ever get in the ring but I’ve been watching wrestling for a long time and studying the who’s and why’s along the way.  While some people pick what they want to happen, I pick what I think will happen – from a booking POV.  What happens to these characters tomorrow on Raw, Smackdown, or next month’s PPV?  The WWE doesn’t end with WrestleMania.   For every feud that ends there are two guys who now have to be put into a new feud.  Lets take a look at the card and some action!

Kelly Kelly and that girl from Extra vs. Eve Torres and (WWE Divas Champion) Beth Phoenix.

This whole match and angle already upset me before Maria was injured.  This “celebrity” is on ‘Mania, and Dancing with the Stars, and Extra.  Which means there is no way she is giving her all to each project and something has to give.  That something is, without a doubt, WrestleMania.  What does this booking bring to WWE?  Was there a danger that ‘Mania wouldn’t be properly covered in the media, and thus they need to kiss Extra’s ass?  Is there anyone from Entertainment Tonight or TMZ or E! that can be shoe horned into this match.  There are 20 other Divas, at least, who would love to be in this match.  For the exposure, for the moment and yes for the paycheck.  Instead they need to watch some “celebrity” take that away from them.  Unfortunately because she is an outsider the odds are she’ll win this match.

(WWE Intercontinental champion) Cody Rhodes vs. the Big Show.

Yeah, Show doesn’t have the best record at WrestleMania.  For anything.  The usual wrestling matches or the gimmicks.  And I don’t think this year will fare any better.  A lot of attention has been put on Hunter and ‘Taker as the last of an era.  Well Big Show is more of that era than the current one.  He should be used as he is about to be used in this match.  Put over the up and coming guy.  Cody Rhodes will be wearing world title gold soon.  Not a doubt in my mind.  Give him some big wins on huge stages like this.  Build him up over the year.  Cody will gain more from a win here than Show.  I went off on a little fantasy booking for Cody Rhodes on this week’s podcast if you would like to know more.

Team Teddy (Zack Ryder, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, the Great Khali, Booker T, and Santino Marella) vs. Team Johnny (the Miz, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, and David Otunga).

How great would this match be if it was a ladder match?  Even with some of the guys who couldn’t climb a ladder if their homes needed painting.  There is enough talent in the ring to pull off a good match.  But it wont be.  Too many goofy spots.  No doubt there will be involvement from Teddy, Johnny, Aksana, Vickie and the Bellas.  Oh and Hornswoggle as well.  Plus if anything runs long on the show this is the match that will have some minutes cut off to save time.  I’m really wondering if everyone will get their own introductions or just come out to the respective show’s music.  No matter.  I think Johnny Ace is a failure as an on screen character.  More stories can come out of Teddy Long in charge of both shows.  Probably end it with David Otunga taking over by summer.

Randy Orton vs. Kane.

Kane needs a win here more than Orton.  Randy will always come back.  But Kane was taken out with an injury, changed alliances while gone, lost to John Cena and then got thrown into this story.  Kane needs a  win here to build up something.  With the later match in the card possibly being Undertaker’s last match, someone needs to take that Undertaker spot.  The best guy currently in the company to take that spot is Kane.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (World champion).

Again a story of who needs this more.  There are two world titles in WWE, one of them should change hands every WrestleMania.  Bryan has found his niche in WWE as a heel.  A heel former champion has more places to go after losing the title than a face does.  Whether he blames AJ, or is obsessed with the title, or this loss brings out an inner rage.  It doesn’t matter, Bryan will be alright after this.  Sheamus needs to be put over.  He is about to be a huge international star.  The face of WWE across the pond.  Sheamus is a big guy, and becoming a talented wrestler.  He can have matches against any opponent of any size.  How well he does with this role is up to him.

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk (WWE Champion).

The news this week is that Jericho just signed a contract extension with WWE.  Seems awfully late to do such a thing.  If any of the CM Punk contract issues last year were true there is no way WWE is going to even consider putting a title on someone who isn’t locked in.  Punk needs to be at the same level as John Cena.  The guy that WWE can put out there in front of everyone.  Every TV show, magazine, or radio that wants to talk to a WWE Superstar.  Every market that WWE wants to take notice of them.  John Cena has been the guy.  Well what if something happened to Cena?  The biggest mistake (well one of) that WWE made is to not have a  post Hogan plan.  What is the post Cena plan?  CM Punk should be billed and marketed as the best in the world.  Defeating Jericho is a good step in that plan.

Undertaker vs. Triple H.  Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee.

I really don’t see any other outcome for this match.  Undertaker has to win.  Give him an even 20-0 and let him ride out into the sunset.  There is no doubt in my mind that this is his last match.  He needs to win, he needs to go out as the guy that no one can match.  However, that doesn’t mean I don’t expect some shenanigans.  My guess is that Shawn Micahels wont count to three.  He wont want to see anyone, even his good buddy Hunter, pin Undertaker and succeed where he failed.  Shawn will refuse and this will lead to the two friends arguing.  Whether this is a distraction, or in a bigger angle, HBK super kicks HHH and changes the course of the match, remains to be seen.  But I cant wait to see it.

The Rock vs. John Cena.

Talk about needing to win a match so WWE moves forward.  Cena will not leave.  No matter what the story is, he is WWE for life.  Rock will be gone the Monday after ‘Mania.  John Cena is WWE, and he cant be put down.  It was said that this match is a lot like Hogan vs. Rock from 10 years ago.  You mean, when Hogan left WWE for years and expected to be put back in the same place of glory?  Only to lose to the man who was WWE’s biggest star?  Yeah.  Remember Rock.  Then move aside.