This week’s League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment has been revealed:

Which TV or movie hero do you want beside you when the zombie apocalypse arrives.

I really try to stay within the parameters of the League questions, but this week was tough.  It was obvious from the start who my pick would be.  The only gray area is how to work him into the question.  “TV or movie hero” implies the person is in front of the screen.  Thus no writers or producers, etc would count.  Also it limits the medium so no books or comics or podcasts.  If only there was one thing, just one thing that was on TV and would give me the leeway to include him.

Then I turned on BBC America and found my answer.

Appearing on the Nerdist TV show and one of the hosts of the Nerdist podcast, my pick for zombie apocalypse buddy is Jonah Ray.

Over nearly 200 episodes of the Nerdist podcast Jonah Ray has made no secret of his love for zombie lore.  He can answer any question about them, debate finer points with friends or guests, and adds original ideas to the discussion.

I’m not sure how well he can handle a gun, crossbow, machete or other implements of death.  Nor do I know if he has ever had to kill a man.  I know he’s been to Vegas, but am unsure about Reno.  However it is not any sort of physical skills that make Jonah my pick.  It is the mental ones.

Jonah Ray lives in LA and has travelled the country for work.  Whether his own stand up,his personal life,  numerous projects, or through Nerdist he has seen every corner of the country.  There is not a doubt in my mind that Jonah has many places in LA on a short list of where to hide out during a zombie invasion.  The “little” things like food, water, shelter and safety have already been thought of and a plan put in place.

A part of most zombie stories involves the living trying to figure out what is happening.  Not Jonah.  He’ll just look at you like you’re a moron and say, “well its fucking zombies! Duh!”  No debate necessary.  These are zombies.  We kill them or we die.  Sure some look familiar, but they aren’t your friends or family anymore.  They are zombies.  Go for the head.  Exposition over.

While the thought of being called a moron is fresh, remember that Jonah has no problem being an asshole.  Sometimes he revels in it.  He wont think twice about killing a zombie or taking out another living human to protect his own.  As long as you’re on the right side of this trait, its a trait you want in your group.  Tough decisions will need to be made, sacrifices happen, and someone has to be willing to be the asshole.  Let Jonah make these choices.  Your conscience is free, your party is smaller and stronger as a result.  And hey, if he goes too far then take him out and make yourself look great.

Not to say that Jonah wont turn the tables on you.  For anyone else who is also a fan of the Nerdist podcast, we have no doubt that he would shoot Matt Mira in the leg so the zombies can feast on him while Jonah runs away.  Remember to always have a plan to take out Jonah.

Enjoy your burrito.

For more, go to http://jonahray.tumblr.com/