Welcome back to the penultimate homework assignment. I have been along with the At Odds with Wrestling podcast as they watch the short lived all female wrestling promotion, Wrestlicious. It’s really terrible, but I’m going to see this through. 

We open with a JV’s Crib segment. Jimmy Hart is with three of the wrestlers, I don’t know who is who. JV comes in with a fourth girl. Hart is ironing clothes. There’s some terrible joke here but it was too bad to remember. 

Wrestlicious Takedown is on tour at a nightclub in Minneapolis, MN and it is not a good venue. 

Jimmy Hart with “random fan”. How do I know if I’m a wrestling fanatic? If you wear a mask in your driver’s license photo. Or something like that. This has to be someone’s kid, right? 

Toni the Top is featured in this week’s Wrestlicious Heroines comic. She has a new protege. How was this comic done? I would have to imagine the episodes were edited together so the artist knew what wrestlers and what angle the art was for. Or is there a large amount of unseen Wrestlicious art somewhere? 

Felony is in jail for the way she was brought up. Brought up on charges. Not a good joke, but the best one so far. 

Are you Smarter than a Male Wrestler? Featuring Jimmy Hart as host and Glory vs Brian Knobbs. I’m not going back to watch, but is this the same segment as we saw episodes earlier? Or, more likely, they did a couple takes of the same bit and threw this take on to fill the show. Where was the Declaration on Independence signed? At Betty White’s house. 

Charlotte is at the doctor’s office. 

Bandita’s Cantina where nothing in this joint is well done. 

Country Quickie segment with Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas. Not that anything on this show is great, but all of these bad joke segments in a row is brutal. I’ve already paused multiple times to see how much is left of the show. 

Voodoo You Love with the just married Johnny C and White Magic. This segment is black and white and terrible. How is this show getting worse? 

Presenting Beatrice Bristol and Penelope Bristol. The Bristols are coming. Not unless they’re on episode 13. These accents are horrible. I didn’t know you could be on a casting couch while standing up. 

Sierra Sheraton is in the Takedown Spotlight of the week. Which means she’s on the beach in a bikini. I know we saw her once before but I remember nothing about her. Remember a little more after this segment. 

Toni the Top raps so we can remember her. 

Johnny C Jr. introduces Toni the Top who introduces Tina the Trigger. Together they are TNT. Tina looks more like a Yankee than a mobster. Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas come out to answer the challenge. Except they don’t. It will be Glory and Tyler Texas wrestling the mobsters. Toni has the next title shot to Glory’s crown so I guess it makes sense. 

The Wrestlicious Wrewind is Toni and Glory fighting. At eleven minutes in, this is the first action of any type on the show and it’s a repeat. 

Even if this match was “good” it is so horribly filmed it’s impossible to enjoy. It looks like it was filmed through smoke. No one in the crowd cares. It is horribly obvious during this match how much crowd noise has been added throughout the show. I’m longing for the days they were in the studio. The studio lights and camera would have loved Tina. 

This match goes way way too long. 

Tyler hits a sidewinder into a sunset flip, or so I’m told, onto Toni. Actually not bad. Tina has a great, um, look, and maybe could have been a favorite on the series if she had been around earlier. 

“The referee never saw the tag. He should be arrested for loitering in the ring.” Okay, that one got me. 

Glory gets the hot tag. All four women fight. The referee calls for the bell. Cousin Cassie brings out help. 

Brooke Lynn, I think, closes out the show. See you next time. 

Episode 12

“Once Upon a Battle Royal.

Not so very long ago. 

More recently

Faith hates country.”

Who knew they were doing long form story telling?! 

The Wrewind features clips of Faith attacking the Country Cuties. There will be a grudge match tonight. I’m sure that will be great. (Future me, it’s actually a fun match!)

Jimmy Hart and now “our fan”. How do I know if I’m a wrestling fanatic? If you start a USA chant every time you walk into a Chinese restaurant? Is that racist? Am I being too sensitive? 

Presenting the Bristol sisters. It’s not any better the second time. 

Masked Millie. Lady of 1 Mask. A weird interview with Jimmy Hart. An American flag on green screen in the background for no good reason. I guess in a superhero way. 

She’s not a bird. She’s not a plane. This is so odd. The announcer says they turned the ring over to “local talent”. Alright, fine. I don’t believe it, but it’s clear they’re trying to fill the show time. 

Millie vs. the hometown homewrecker Jezebel. Let me tell you how bad the filming was here. I went from hey Jezebel looks good to eh nevermind to eh I’ve done worse. 

“The dim lighting probably helps. Talk about a dark match.” Okay, that’s two. 

Jezebel isn’t bad but nothing about her presentation is flattering. Millie isn’t actually that big. Like the size of Jordynne Grace a couple years ago? Unflattering gear on both of them. 

The announcer keeps calling them local girls and lets be honest they are just as good, or as bad, as the official Wrestlicious talent. 

Millie hits the Attitude Adjustment to get the pin. 

Lil Slam raps, so we remember who she is for the next segment. 

Are you smarter than a male wrestler? This time with Jimmy Hart, Lil Slam, and Greg “the Hammer” Valentine. What do you receive in the mail on February the 14th? A restraining order! That should really be hand delivered, not mailed. 

Rhonda is at the doctor’s and it’s creepy old song puns. 

Voodoo You Love segment. Hey it’s not in black and white anymore, but it’s still awful. 

Country Quickie with Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas. 

JV’s Crib. Jimmy Hart tells JV he’s not an expert on women. But two heads are better than one. Or something. Hart has to watch the kids. I expect this to be the wrestlers, but no, it’s three actual kids. 

Tonight’s Takedown Spotlight features Kandi Kisses. Oh dear lord. Is this the best one so far? Should have ditched the iPod. At least. 

The latest Wrestlicious Heroines features Tyler Texas and Naughty Girl Faith. 

Texas vs. Faith.  

The ladies do dueling cheers and boos crowd work. Faith suckers in Texas for the sneak attack. 30 seconds into the actual action of this match and it’s the best match from both episodes. One of the best in the history of the show. And it’s basic stuff but it looks so much better than any of the rest. Tyler actually has a great physique too and looked much stronger than most of the roster. 

What a terrible time for a crowd edit. When the match was actually fun. Tyler catches Faith in a backslide for the pin. This match was far better than anything else on the shows. 

Charity tells us to come back next time. 

I think there is a world in which someone could have actually written a show in which the women who can wrestle get a chance to. The ones who couldn’t are managers, seconds, or in backstage segments. And also a better pace between skits and in ring action. That show exists, and its called GLOW. But Wrestlicious had women who could have pulled off something GLOW level. I think the blame for any failures from top to bottom with this show lies with the men running it. I’m not trying to pretend I don’t like pretty girls on a show. All of them are doing their best and any problems I have with the show are not their fault. I don’t think a reunion would happen, but they deserve another chance. 

I say all of this knowing there is only one more episode and I don’t think that will end with any sort of closure.