For those of you who don’t know by now, I like to partner up with the At Odds with Wrestling podcast nearly every week that they assign each other something wrestling related to watch as part of their exclusive Patreon series. This week featured a spin of the Wheel of Rock, which landed on Red One.

Red One introduces us to a world in which not only is Santa Claus real, but there is also a large and technologically advanced worldwide military group that helps his Christmas mission. The Rock is Santa’s right hand man and head member of ELF. Santa is kidnapped by an evil Christmas witch. She was able to find out where Santa is thanks to a degenerate gambler and layabout who is also gifted with the know how and resources to find anyone on the planet, as played by Chris Evans.

There is a lot of fun to be had in this movie. As someone who watches lots of Christmas specials during December, I am all for adding new mythology to the Santa Claus legend. How do reindeer fly? How does Santa get to every house in one night? Santa Claus The Movie had special flying reindeer food. The Santa Clause had a great original concept. Even Elf provides new angles for kids that still believe.

Kids. That is where my issues with the movie come from. Who is this movie for? It is a movie about Santa Claus being kidnapped and the Rock and Captain America are the heroes of the story. On paper this should be an instant classic Christmas family movie for Gen Z. Or, maybe this reluctant buddy cop movie with paramilitary back up is for adults. But the movie tries to appeal to both audiences and fails. It could have done one of these things well, but fails at being both.

Captain America is an absentee father deep on the naughty list. The Rock has a potty mouth that should have no place in a kids movie. Everyone ogles girls in bikinis and while that’s on my list for Santa, again, it has no place in a holiday movie.

Sure, there’s a place for adult Christmas movies like Silent Night, Deadly Night or Black Christmas or Violent Night. Movies that are obviously for adults and not trying to be something else. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation earns a PG-13 rating but I have a difference in my mind between a Christmas movie vs a movie that is celebrating the legend that is Santa Claus.

Santa Claus. Presents. Christmas. The brightness in the middle of the miserable time of year called winter. Brightness that is not seen in this movie. For a film that takes place surrounded by white reflective snow this is a shockingly dark movie. The witch, Krampus, and the North Pole are all shot like they’re filmed in Gotham City. The only scene with any light is the detour to Aruba, which is only bright for contrast when they skies darken five minutes later.

I do think there’s a fun idea in here though. Ideas that could be fleshed out in enjoyable ways through sequels. Sequels that I don’t think will ever be made. Batman, Superman, Spider-Man and hundreds more started as a good idea that became great and iconic through many hands adding to the mythology. The world of Red One could be something better with writers who can both experiment with the concept but also focus the audience.