I’m on a weekend wrestling trip and the wrestling hasn’t even happened yet, but I’m in my element. I met a wrestler on one of my flights and had a nice short talk. Other than that there’s been a lot of travel and food. But something comes out of me when I’m in a more comfortable environment.

Everyone here is here for wrestling. I talked to a random person at the airport about wrestling. I’ve been texting people. We’re making plans. I struck up conversations at restaurants. All things I wouldn’t usually do. When I’m at home, or in my home town area, I am very introverted and full of anxiety. I can’t even go to the local bar without feeling like I need permission.

Yet something different comes out of me when I’m with my fellow geeks. Whether it be comics or wrestling, I feel we’re all there for the same reasons so why feel any embarrassment over it? Why not embrace and exclaim our joy? I’ll tell jokes, I’ll talk to random people, I’ll be a leader more than a follower. So this version of myself is there but it does not exist in daily life. It comes out when I’m away from everything I’m familiar with yet with a more familiar crowd.

I write this before heading out for shows and meet and greets and multiple chances to hang out and spend time with other fans. I’m already proud of myself for getting out of my shell, and I’ll wander further out of shelter over the next two days. Somehow I need to make every day a wrestling day so I can be this more confident version of myself.