Tonight’s post is going to be one of those half thought out ideas because I am curious what other parents might say. I remember growing up with warning labels on cassettes. Movies had ratings. Video games got in trouble and needed a rating system. TV shows adopted them as well. In theory this made our parents feel better and have some sort of control over what we were enjoying.

Now that I’m a parent though, I don’t use any of it. An R rating or TV-MA or whatever letters there may be is not enough information and does nothing to really examine what each individual kid can handle. There’s a big difference between Deadpool and Wolverine versus Saw. Yet both are rated R. If a movie has more than one “fuck” it goes from PG-13 to an R, yet everything else about the movie is still PG-13. A rating that only exists because eventually people got wise that something is needed in between PG and R. I have never in my life paid attention to a TV rating. I’m aware of them and I could look them up but I feel that the fact they haven’t sunk into my brain decades after their debut says something about their usefulness.

Again, now that I’m a parent, how would I know what movies or shows or music is age appropriate? Well, here’s the crazy thing that I do that maybe should have been done in the 80s and beyond. I talk to him. We have conversations. I learn what he can and cannot handle. I let him push that line and make a note of what point sends him back.

Super hero violence is different than horror violence. Language doesn’t do anywhere near as much harm as dangerous ideas do, and nary a swear word to be found. Explicit lyrics are a gateway to a different view on the world. And “this show contains mature themes” implies there is some sort of maturity happening, and that is lacking in the world.

So we talk, I listen, and we find things we can enjoy together that inspires more conversation. Or we can go rent the G rated movie that’s safe. Someone too old or too young sings along to the musical numbers. We all sit in silence for two hours. Maybe four if there was a rent one get one free deal for the weekend.

I’m from the generation of latchkey kids who discovered the R rated world on our own. Hey, Tommy’s parents aren’t home and he has HBO and Cinemax! That also meant when I was confused, or bothered, or clueless I didn’t have anyone to ask except my peers and even as one of them I knew none of us could answer another’s questions.

My kid watches stuff I couldn’t watch at his age. But which way is safer? Me watching it on my own and without any understanding? Or him watching it with me?