Hello and welcome to what is becoming my therapy blog. I believe that part of the writing process is getting out all of your thoughts so then the writing that you want can come out. I have been quiet for too long, so all of these random thoughts need to come out so that I can eventually focus on a good short story.

The odd thing is, I barely wrote for so long that now pushing myself to write something every day is exhausting. I’m working muscles that haven’t been worked in years. This used to be status quo, and now it’s pulled muscles and ice packs. As much as I get tired and wish to go to bed, I’m pushing myself to put words out there every day. This is a much needed exercise to increase discipline and use those lessons for physical exercise and proper eating. It’s already hard but I know it will get easier and there will be benefits in the future.

This self improvement mantra comes to me today because I saw someone for the first time in six months. Random chance encounter in a store. Hey, how are you, what’s new, that sort of thing. And nothing was new. Everything she wanted to change is still there. Again, as I said in the title, change is hard. I’ve kicked and screamed in resistance to change in life. But when change is inevitable it helps to think of a future in which that change becomes familiar. The new job isn’t so new anymore, the relationship has built a foundation, the toxic person is being left in the past. All are difficult but progress can be made. Progress can be made, say, over six months.

I think of the conversation 6 months past and how if any one of the changes were made, that change would have been made 6 months ago. There would be half a year of growth and knowledge to find new comfort in. Six months to fuel more changes. Instead, stasis remains and there is no increase in happiness or any sort of personal satisfaction.

What I write in July will be nothing like this. Hopefully my weight is down and my energy is up. Snow will be gone. Experiences will be had. Lessons learned. Yet if that which makes our lives lesser still remains as is, then all that growth is for naught.