A funny thing happens to a person’s social media algorithm when they try to reduce their screen time: the content becomes more relevant. As I’m trying to be on TikTok and the like less and less what content I do see has been more and more interesting. Almost as if those platforms want to hook me immediately in hopes that leads to me spending more time on their sites. I’ve fallen for that too many times. While I’m trying to build my own audience on those apps for reasons, I am well aware of the damage that is done over time.

I made a promise to myself as this year began that I would try to write something every day. No matter how many words, or even how good those words are, I would post something. I also decided to post a video once a day too. Eventually my writing goals will result in posts on other sites, articles in magazines, and – the big goal – writing a comic. In this era, a social media presence and loyal audience is very helpful. The more people who are already following me equals potential views and buys for any publication debating on sharing my words. So there are ways that social media can be beneficial.

There are ways it is harmful too. Nothing is worse than seeing the alert on your phone that shows how much time has been spent on the phone in the last week. Hours scrolling through apps, watching other people’s lives. For what benefit? One of the best descriptions of social media I’ve heard is “dopamine slot machine”. Scrolling over and over again hoping to find that one thing that makes the last couple hours worth it. Cheap dopamine. There is no long term reward. Then guilt begins to form and you want something to feel better and get rid of that guilty feeling which becomes more scrolling.

That guilt takes other forms as well. Guilt and depression and anxiety all hang out in the same place. Doom scrolling for something interesting can easily lead to judging yourself against others. Keeping up with the Joneses becomes keeping yourself on the couch. When someone else’s life feels so out of reach, then the only reason to lift your hand is to adjust the angle of the remote.

As that paralysis grows it spreads like a weed and chokes out anything nearby. Depression and self doubt are incredibly time consuming and don’t leave a lot of time or energy remaining for anything positive.

And that is what I learned on social media earlier this week. As anxiety becomes stronger, it takes away the time to be creative. But that works the other way too. As a person is more and more creative, that stifles those feelings of anxiety.

Usually I would click like on such a video and move on, but this one stuck with me. Because I was noticing it first hand. I stared at the words I was typing instead of staring at the floor. I woke up and got moving instead of waking up and laying in bed for an hour until I can move. I am doing things. Creating is making me want to do more with my day. I have had more positive reinforcement since doing this than anything else for years. Combined.

Best of all, to continue that reinforcement is those of you reading this. I have received texts, private messages, emails, and so much more already. People who are happy to read my words and know that I am out there once again. Every time someone reaches out, it fuels me to continue.

Thank you to all of you who are helping me to rewire my brain into a more creative and positive force.