We’re back for another edition of wrestling homework. Each and every week without a major wrestling event from WWE or AEW, the hosts of the At Odds with Wrestling podcast assign each other some classic wrestling related thing to watch and comment on the following week. I enjoy throwing my opinions in on this as well. This week we watched the video game inspired action movie DOA: Dead or Alive. 

What could be said about DOA that hasn’t already been said about soft core movies on Cinemax? This is such a paper thin plot to showcase paper thin clothing. Very pretty warrior women in a variety of appealing outfits are invited to a fighting tournament on a remote island. Some men are invited too, but strangely they aren’t given as much screen time to *ahem* flesh out their back stories. The battles take place, and to the shock of everyone, the filthy rich host for a multi-million prize on a remote tropical island has some shady ulterior motives for this gathering. All of the contestants have their reasons to fight – money, proving themselves, finding their missing brother. You know, the same reasons that drive all of us every day. Really it’s a universal story. There are fights, and hook ups, and an evil plot to create the world’s ultimate fighter. A plot that is defeated because someone doesn’t understand the concept of making sure glasses don’t fall off while in the middle of strenuous physical activity. I don’t even watch basketball and even I’m aware that sport goggles have existed there for decades. I’m sure most sports have some sort of non slip eyewear. 

Speaking of sports, often people debate what is and is not a sport. Sport vs game vs hobby. Anything with a ball is a sport, or whatever argument supports their opinion. I don’t really care. However, I will acknowledge that it’s a fine line including beach volleyball as a sport. I don’t know that any activity which demands tighter and smaller clothing is a sport. Sports entertainment to be sure. But not a sport. This is a long winded way to let anyone who is unaware of what put the DOA video game franchise on the map know that the women have an extensive beach volleyball game. Yeah, long winded. That’s why I was out of breath after watching this scene. 

But why did we watch the movie? Well, Kevin Nash plays the father of one of the competitors, and he’s a competitor as well. He has some funny lines and an entertaining comical fight against his own daughter. Then he’s gone and what’s left for a bunch of socially awkward male wrestling fans to watch in this movie? Oh, right, everything else. 

There’s a term in anime called “fan service” and that is all this movie has going for it. I haven’t e seen so many crotch close ups since my OB-GYN work from home side hustle went south. It is flat out exploitation. I don’t know if these ladies had to be airbrushed, increased the special effects budget, or made a side trip to Brazil. Either way, this movie goes right up to the lip of a PG-13 rating. 

Now, all of that critique and mockery aside, I had a lot of fun watching the movie. Pretty girls kicking ass in one of my favorite movie genres. Sucker Punch is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, but it checks off the boxes. And DOA is a better movie than Sucker Punch. Hell, there’s part of me debating on watching pretty girls kicking ass movies throughout 2024. Red Sonja, Charlie’s Angels, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill, and so on. I need to see if there’s any wrestlers in any of these movies to give this cinema marathon a bit of legitimacy.