Hello and welcome to another edition of the At Odds with Wrestling homework series. Each and every week without a major wrestling event the two hosts of the podcast assign each other classic wrestling themed things to watch and discuss on the Patreon. This week we all watched the cult classic 1986 movie Body Slam.

Bonus, look at this VHS copy of the movie. That cover has nothing to do with the film.

I know I’ve seen this movie before but it’s been a few years. It is a cult movie and very much an 80’s film. It’s terrible but in a fun way. That said, I recommend being in the right mood to watch this. I started watching it in a tired and irritable mood. I paused the movie about a half hour in and picked it up the next day when I had a more open mind. This would be a great movie to give the MST3K treatment. I was watching it by myself and had no audience for my smart ass remarks. Until this article. On to the show. 

Apparently this movie stars Dani Jannsen. I know she’s playing milf roles now but I didn’t think she was old enough to be in this movie. 

M Harry Smilac sets the very L.A. scene (Yeah!) driving around with the fancy car, the top down, the car phone, the girls in bikinis. This movie is definitely not timeless. He seems on top of the world. Then his car is repossessed by a repo man posing as a parking valet and it’s all downhill for Harry from here. 

Side note, I’m watching this on Tubi and I swear the picture ripples. 

Harry goes to his lawyer for help and it’s worse than just a car. Harry owes something to everyone and has burned every bridge. He’s a con man, he’s a fast talker, and while he’s doing poorly he seems to always have an angle or someone else to trust him just one more time. Harry’s lawyer says he’ll help but only if Harry will book talent for a political fund raiser. Harry refuses but after some more bad luck he takes the offer. 

Right after the lawyer’s office but before agreeing to the offer, Harry talks to his old friend and car salesman John Astin. Harry offers Springsteen tickets and a double date with showgirls. Astin agrees to help Harry just one more time, and Harry takes the four seater car. Astin gets a good look at the tickets which are actually for a Jewish Yodeling Festival. Now here is where I think we get a glimpse of who Harry is and how he can stay afloat. Harry is setting up this double date with Astin. Meanwhile, Astin is being paged to pick up a phone call from his wife. I think Harry knows the vices and secrets of all of these people and uses that leverage to sign contracts and borrow money. What’s a few thousand dollars between friends if it prevents losing much more in a divorce? I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine, but as soon as you stop scratching, I’ll put a dagger in that same back. 

Later Harry pulls up to his house with an attractive woman. Despite all of the financial and car issues throughout the movie, no one comes for his house. Probably because it would have cost more money to actually have any character enter that house. Mr Kim from the Korean Collections/Corrections Agency shows up with his muscle – Afa and Sika – to get a sum of money from Harry. This was already struck down in court, but Mr Kim still wants the cash. Afa and Sika destroy the borrowed car. The next morning is when Harry accepts the fund raiser deal because now he has to fix the car. There’s no mention of the car, where the girl went, or anything else from a continuity perspective. 

Harry heads to the convention center to set up “A Night for Norton” but he’s an hour late. Probably because he’s without a car at this point. Harry talks to a little girl that’s waiting in the room. She calls him a pervert for talking to a young girl and it’s Los Angeles. She’s probably right and if Harry is a pervert then that also means he’ll be running a movie studio shortly. Allegedly. Harry tries to interrupt a meeting with the venue owner, but he’s in the middle of negotiations with Roddy Piper. Piper is upset over his current deal and Harry sees an opening, worming his way in for more money for Piper and now more money for himself. Harry gets a ridiculous amount of money up front but now Piper is his client. Harry thinks Piper is a rock star and only after Piper’s former manager Captain Lou shows up do the professional wrestling pieces come together. 

Another side note. Piper absolutely calls the young girl his niece yet she is with him throughout the movie like a daughter. I can see this as a nonsensical studio note that Piper is too young to have a daughter of this age but he could be raising his niece for reasons we are never given. I mean that young up and coming wrestler who we will see in a cameo later on, Ric Flair, is awaiting the birth of his daughter Ashley while this movie is filming. Side side note, this young girl is Kellie Martin who is better known later in her career for the TV shows Life Goes On and Christy. 

Harry meets up with his lawyer at this fancy rich woman’s home. Harry is so full of shit and so unlikeable. Double talk, never giving a straight answer, and it would be so easy to hate him. In fact, I greatly dislike people like this in real life. All the rich people go off to the side and Harry takes the opportunity to hit on the debuting Candace who is poolside in a bathing suit. Harry says some nasty things about the host, Bitsy, and it turns out Candace is Bitsy’s daughter. I’m sorry Harry but who the hell did you think was hanging out by the pool? Did you think Bitsy lets the hired help lounge about while all of her fundraising friends are over? 

Over at the gym and Piper is telling his tag team partner Tonga Tom about all the money he’s making now with Harry as his manager. Okay, so Harry can do his job well. At least initially. Harry talks to Tom and now has two clients. Two of Captain Lou’s other charges, the Cannibals, harass Piper and threaten Harry. The Cannibals have been tag team champions for five years, which is probably why they stick with the Captain. 

Later, Piper and Tom are wrestling two random masked wrestlers. Harry and the niece are ringside cheering. “America’s Newest Tag Team” has won. So, much like the Heenan family I’m guessing these two are paired up for no logical reason other than they have the same manager. After the match Harry is in the locker room giving Piper and Tom advice. Now this scene could have gone either way. Here’s this outsider telling them how to wrestle, but Harry gives advice on matching gear and appearance and things that a music promoter would bring to wrestling. Speaking of things that wrestlers and musicians bring around, the very young niece is just hanging out in the locker room. If this was a documentary she would be the focus of an upcoming episode of Dark Side of the Ring. Piper says Harry needs to appear on Carson. No not that Carson, Vic Carson’s Ring Talk show. The number one talk show. In L.A.? In wrestling? On the local channel? I feel we’re missing some details for what market and demographic Ring Talk is number one. 

We’re at Ring Talk and it’s not a bad set. I would watch this show if it was something like The Bump. What a group of people in the audience. Bikers, shorter wrestling fans, nuns. As Ready to Rumble taught us you can’t have a wrestling movie without breaking a few nuns. This week’s episode is all about managers so the guests are Harry, Captain Lou, and Tim McClusky played by famed short actor Billy Barty. They all play musical stools which is a funny bit. Lou is upset over Harry bringing in these new ideas to wrestling. This is a 1980’s movie in which wrestling veterans are complaining about the new guys. Oh how times have not changed. These guys would be hosting a podcast now complaining about how the younger talent in 2023 does things. This week’s homework must be sponsored by Red Robin because I have unlimited sides. Dirk Benedict (Harry) complained about Starbuck being a female character in the Battlestar Galactica reboot. He doesn’t want anything changed about the character he first played or the BSG franchise. When you’re young you want change, when you’re older you want everything to stay the same as whatever you changed it to. 

Speaking of change, boy there are some words that we just don’t use anymore. Billy dropping the F bomb (an English cigarette if you will) is bad enough but actually seeing it on a sign in the crowd made it even worse. Taking the time to write a slur on a giant sign feels more hateful than just saying it. Also, we know of wrestlers that weren’t publicly out but their peers would have known at the time. Why slander your co-workers? Although Hulk Hogan showed us how that can be done. Anyways, Harry is thrown out of the ring by Captain Lou and he gets hurt. 

Later Harry is at another meeting to plan out A Night with Norton. He’s in a neck brace and trying his best to cultivate more of his bullshit. He gives first names for talent that will be appearing at the fundraiser. Never actually giving full names. It’s not his fault they assumed someone else. While he’s there he makes a side trip to hit on Candace some more. She knows he’s full of shit but he’s so persistent she gives him a chance. 

Let me call the waitress from Applebee’s over. Excuse me miss, if I hit on you non stop the entire time I’m here, or even worse, came back repeatedly to hit on you, would you eventually give me a chance or would I be banned from this restaurant? Exactly! It’s 2023. I would be asked to stop and then asked to leave. No means no. Yet we have all of these 80’s and even into the 90’s shows and movies in which our “hero” pursues his love interest until she exhaustedly relents. And there’s a toxic group of people who one can find all day every day on social media, who still think this is the way to go about getting a woman. Then when she says no and leave me alone, these same toxic individuals make a drastic 180 and begin attacking the same women. Because TV and movies – which aren’t real life – taught them that if you annoy a former Charlie’s Angel enough she will sleep with you. 

Harry and Candace go somewhere casual. Applebee’s wasn’t around yet and is far fancier than the local roller skate sock hop burger place thing they go to. It’s a cute non-date date that could have made Harry a bit more endearing. Until he pretends that his neck is in pain and Candace has to take him home. They arrive at Harry’s home, and he’s driving the car. In his horrible neck pain he’s going to drive. Turning his head to change lanes and check for traffic. Harry gets out of the car and now his back hurts. If only Candace could help him into the hot tub. Harry is going to get me-too real fast. What’s that sound? It’s the gong which means Mr Kim has arrived again. Does he just hang out at Harry’s place? I feel like his company is spending far more money paying Mr Kim and the Wild Samoans to sit there all day than what Harry owes them. Afa and Sika flip Candace’s car off the cliff that Harry’s home is on. 

The next morning Candace’s mom is telling her to stay away from Harry. She also wants the lawyer to replace Harry. He says it’s too late to get a new talent manager but he will now oversee Harry. I’m sure this will all work out. 

Harry goes to see the only band he still manages – Kick. Or is it Kicks? It’s both depending on where we are in the movie. Much like how Piper has a niece and a daughter. The movie is 42 minutes in, half way, and we just now meet the band. I mean, they’re unimportant overall and exist as a plot device for the movie. This is also when I notice how shameless the ADR is in the movie and I fully expect Joe to have a bit of a rant on this. 

Everyone shows up to see all the first name only stars that will be performing at the Night for Norton. Harry starts flirting with Candace again and actually talks her into leaving with him. I mean, I don’t blame Harry for not wanting to be there when everyone realizes there’s no talent. Kick performs in a glam heavy metal Kiss Twisted Sister style gimmick. The only time we see them all done up in the movie. Their pyro catches the stage on fire and everyone runs out of the event for safety. 

The next morning the newspaper headlines have Norton blaming this snafu not on Harry, but on Communists and the Ayatollah. Harry has many angry voice messages. He’s trying to lay low and sneaks into the wrestling locker room in drag. Piper’s niece is acting as Harry’s secretary and has even more messages for him. Somehow Billy Barty does not see Harry in drag. 

In the ring and the Cannibals are surprise opponents for Piper and Tom. This is a beat down massacre. They get bloody. Harry gets beat up too. It’s the worst day and the bottom of the barrel for Harry. End of act 2, now time for Harry to become the hero of the movie. 

Harry’s car gets repossessed at the hospital. Harry trips over a guy in a wheelchair and sends him into traffic. He’s a better person, but he’s still a selfish asshole. Piper’s girl is reading comics to Tom while he’s stuck in the hospital bed. The funny thing that finally caught on here is how happy Piper and Tom are everytime they see Harry. It’s such a subtle dumb thing but it gets funnier every time. Harry quits as their manager. He blames himself for them being in the hospital. He says he doesn’t like seeing people he likes get hurt. 

Apparently days later Harry is sitting at home defeated. Piper shows up to give him a pep talk. Piper says something that gets Harry inspired. He’s going to take his tag team and his band on the road. Two great shows! It’s a risk, but if it’s successful they could all make a lot of money. 

We get a travel montage. It’s all Piper and Tom and not really showing any of Kick. This isn’t at all how wrestling works, but I’ll get to that. The bus shows up to find out their latest venue has been double booked. It’s supposed to be wrestling one night, Kick the next night. Now they only have one night. Harry makes the genius idea to combine rock and wrestling. Two great shows for the price of one. He even gimmicks the wrestling show to have a $1000 bounty to anyone who can defeat his tag team. Pee Wee and Slim Willie or whatever answer the challenge. Slim is a big near 400 pounder who lays on Piper. Harry gets Kick to play to rally Piper and it works. Our faces cheat to win but that’s okay because they do it in a humorous way I guess. Everyone is friends at the end and they had a great time. Harry sees how much money they made from combining the two shows and that’s the plan for the rest of the tour. 

Alright, let’s go back to how wrestling works. There is no way that one tag team and an up and coming band sell out any of these venues. Piper and Tom need opponents in each town. Also, wrestling shows aren’t made up from one match. Now a wrestling show for 5-6 matches and Kick playing for 30-60 minutes could be a show. But where do those other matches come from? I’m going to write some Body Slam fan fiction here. Harry books Piper and Tom as the main event for independent cards across the country. Those indie promotions would provide the rest of the matches and provide opponents for Piper and Tom. Then Kick plays at the end of the evening while everyone has a good time. That’s a 2-3 hour show that would be worth paying for. 

Whatever shows the fans are paying for, it’s making money. They upgrade the tour bus. We hear the Body Slam theme song. Harry gets a cover interview with Rolling Stone. Why they’re all so big they’re invited back on Ring Talk. 

The same panel of guests appear on Ring Talk. Must have been a highly rated show. Captain Lou says only (F word redacted) would watch Harry’s show. It’s 1986 and Lou is directly insulting the few people who are most likely watching this movie. I guess one of Harry’s newer crazy outsider ideas is not insulting the fan base. Harry and Lou get into it and agree to a winner takes all tag team title main event in two weeks. 

Speaking of how wrestling works, they book and sell out a good size arena in L.A. in two weeks? 

Harry shows up to deliver flowers to Candace and drops a Mexican accent that somehow is just as insulting as Billy Barty’s slurs. Candace and Harry hear her mother but escape inside of the oddest looking elevator I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t look like an elevator. It looks like a cylinder that turns around stairs to create the illusion of lift. Like something from a magic show. Anyways, they change clothes and now they’re on the water where they kiss and fall in love. Fucking. How? Over the course of the movie we know that Harry isn’t a complete asshole. He’s only out for himself but a couple people have snuck into his heart. However not enough that I could imagine an heir to a fortune throwing that all away for a carny promoter. Or is this the Vince McMahon story? Maybe one day Candace will have a failed run for Senator but land a cabinet position she’s unqualified for. Oh, and Harry is promising to give Bitsy enough money to make up for the Night for Norton fiasco. 

We’re now two weeks later and it’s time for the main event. Tons of fans in this sold out building which happened to have this date free. Captain Lou shows up and parks in a handicap spot. He gets interviewed but can only repeat “Smilac’s dead.” Great old school wrestling promo. Most everyone we met along the way in the movie shows up here. This is the only time we really hear Senator Norton and he sounds like a moron. Just a guy in a suit that the powers that be can get to repeat their agenda and get elected. Good thing we’ve moved beyond that in the last 30 plus years. 

Mr Kim and Harry have one last friendly chat. Harry implies that Lou’s car is his car, thus we know it will be destroyed (off camera). Check out the who’s who in the front row: Ric Flair, Freddie Blassie, Sheik Adnan, Bruno Sammartino. It’s possible I’m missing some people who don’t get the full intro. Billy Barty is one of our commentators and hopefully there’s a six second pause on his live mic. Kick performs. The Cannibals come out and destroy Kick’s gear yet I still hear music. The fans start fighting. It’s a riot. Our beloved cast are choking each other. Piper and Tom rush to the ring because if there’s anything that immediately stops a riot, it’s action inside of the ring. Tom gets beaten down. Piper gets the hot tag and turns the match around. Cross body. Piper and Tom make the pin. They’re the new tag team champions. Everyone cheers for them and Harry. Harry enters the ring so we can get a freeze frame image to close out the movie. 

Again, as said by many, this is not a good movie. It’s a great USA UP! All Night film. I don’t see Harry as the hero in any way, but he’s the best one we have. There’s a good story to be told about Piper’s character, but that’s not the movie that we get. Now that Harry has won, is he going to stay on this new course? Will he manage more talent? Or will he fall from grace once again now that he has more money than ever before? I’m putting far more thought into this than anyone else ever has or should. I do wonder if I could write a 90 minute wrestling comedy in the present day though. Without certain words. 

The most bothersome part is the portrayal of wrestling. We know how wrestling works yet so many of these movies get it wrong. Oh two guys show up and fight. There’s so much more to it than that. Now, kayfabe was a lot stronger when this movie came out so there is that part of not exposing the business. But in other sports movies the travel and dates and booking of venues is closer to reality than most wrestling movies ever get. There’s more respect to be shown. I think the only one to get it close is The Wrestler. 

Speaking of respect, not that we’re all perfect, but we’ve come a long way in portraying women on screen as actual people and not plot devices. Granted, not all the time, but advancements have been made since this movie. About the same amount of progress we’ve gained in not using certain words. Or writing them on signs to hold up at TV shows in front of nuns. 

All that said, I would still watch this movie again. I think it would be better with a couple friends or a girlfriend with the right sense of humor. You do date night your way, and I’ll do it mine.