Due to work and wedding planning and family commitments I wasn’t able to watch Raw last night.  However, I did see that the majority of fans online loved the show.  Thus, I’m going into this with a positive attitude.  Lets see what sort of difference that makes in the review.

As is now custom, times have been compiled by Solace Winter and they will be worked into the article, with commentary.

Recap of last week’s events with CM Punk and Jerry Lawler.  As expected.

Opening Recap – 2:04

Punk attacking Lawler – 0:53

As long as they don’t go overboard with recaps, one of this length is fine.  Three minutes to go over the big story from a three hour show is acceptable.

Michael Cole opens the show and there is no King.  We see that a mere 3 minutes before Raw was to begin CM Punk attacked Jerry Lawler.  Its a damn good fight too.  The kind of close fight where neither guy is getting in anything good but its only a matter of time before exhaustion plays in and someone gets knocked down.  That’s just what happens.   Both men are out of breathe and that gives the referees time to separate them.  (Speaking of, why is the make up or seamstress or whatever she is wearing a white and black striped dress?  You know there’s going to be referee jokes.  You are only setting up a mockery.)  Anyways, Jerry charges at Punk and runs right into a boot.  A man thinking clearly, and not exhausted from the previous altercation, could have avoided that.  Very well done fight that didn’t look like a match, nor like an MMA fight.  Damn IWC, this show is off to a good start!

Michael Cole has no co-host.  Sheamus comes out and starts to talk about his upcoming match with Alberto Del Rio.  The crowd goes crazy for CM Punk.  Oh, we’re in Chicago.  Hey!  What if Punk did a Bret Hart type angle where he is cheered in some places and booed in others?  I’m thinking the true wrestling hot beds would cheer him and he can verbally shit on “fake” towns.  Easy heel heat in California. Just bring up Hollywood and then crap on the Rock.

Again, anyways.  Punk is doing a great job of playing the heel who doesn’t believe he is a heel.  All of his actions are justified in his own mind.  Sheamus makes an excellent point that Punk complains about people interrupting a champion and yet he did the same to the World champion.  Pipe bomb!  Sheamus was wounded by Punk saying the World champion is, at best, second in the world.  Sheamus asks to look at Punk’s ass.  I don’t think that came out right.  Speaking of someone who always comes out at the right time, yay its AJ!

Kudos to whoever is picking out AJ’s outfits.  Business modern.  Classic and young.  Money well spent.  Speaking of money, there are some money main events coming tonight!  Yeah this really is an excellent start to Raw.

Sheamus/Punk/AJ – 9:54

This segment did not feel like nearly 10 minutes.  Which is a good thing, but on the other hand did it need ten minutes?  It may have only gone for 8 minutes if Sheamus wasn’t so shell shocked over being booed.  Its Chicago!  Of course they’ll cheer their hometown hero.  But, it is these types of things that can make a man like Sheamus stronger.  He needs to know how to handle anything a crowd throws at him.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero).

We’re up to the commercial break in this match before I’ve written anything on it.  Dolph is getting destroyed here and that’s not right.  He is carrying around the Deus Ex Machina of WWE.  The MITB briefcase.  He deserves better!

Oh good, he ran Orton into the wall.  Dolph is now attacking the shoulder along with the entire chest and back because all those tendons and ligaments connect into a nervous system of pain.

These guys are doing wonders with classic moves.  Orton has brought the Garvin Stomp back from the brink of jokes.  Dolph has all these moves that turn a head lock into an art form.  Of course the headlock is a basic move that will never go away, but that is no reason it cant be brought into the modern era.

Orton fights back, much to my shock.  I was expecting Zigs to win this one with the blow off match at the next PPV.  Although that next show is Night of Champions and neither of these guys is currently holding a title.  Orton executes one of the best super-plexes I’ve seen in quite a while.  Dolph still kicks out.  In fact that is the story of the second part of this match.  Ziggler kicks out and kicks out.  If he was a face this would make him more over than Cena.  As a heel though all he can achieve at the end of this is respect.

Damn that’s a fast paced ending!  Rope assisted DDT, pin attempt, another, roll through, reversal!  Orton whipped Dolph into the corner and used his momentum to roll up Ziggler for the pin.  Zigs rolls right through that and gets the pin!  Damn that was a good match.  I’ve been saying damn more than Ron Simmons lately.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler – 10:07
Ziggler wins

A ten minute match for those that deserve it.  I’m very happy with Raw so far.  An angle had time to build, and these two main event talents used every second given to them.

The Miz, the current Intercontinental champion, comes out to join Michael Cole for commentary.  Then we go to a pretaped segment.  But Miz coming out right after may have not made too much sense either.  Probably the best spot for his grand entrance.

Miz joins on commentary – 0:56

This seemed like 10 seconds, not a whole minute of time.  The Miz will go on to drain my life away and then redeem himself later in the show.

Day 2 of Kane and Daniel Bryan in anger management class.

Kane steals the show yet again when he throws out his “anger collage” and ignites it in the trash can.  Who would have thought that Kane and Daniel Bryan would be the stars of the year’s best comedy segments?

Anger Management Week 2 – 2:35

Worth it!  The crazy thing about these non wrestling segments is that when they are good the hardcore fans are fine with any length of time.  But when its awful, even 30 seconds is too long.  Thankfully these classes have been a highlight of the year.

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. Tensai and Cody Rhodes.

Damn we all thought Tensai was going to be in the main event picture upon his return and now he’s playing 4th man to the stars of Smackdown.  Maybe, maybe teaming with Rey is what Sin Cara needs.  Lucha Libre is an amazing wrestling style and Sin Cara has not brought any of that to WWE.  These two men together could succeed.  Tensai does nothing of note in the match.  Rey botches the tag.  Sin Cara comes off the top and pins Rhodes.  Its hard to believe now that I had predicted Cody as a future World/WWE champion by the end of the year.  Now I would be shocked if he won anything this year.

Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes & Tensai – 5:01
Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio win.

Yeah, five sounds good.  Poor Tensai though.  How the booked as mighty have fallen.  The tag team scene is heating up and I would love to see Rey and Sin Cara get a run with them.  What the hell is it this week?!  All of the people that usually bother me are putting in top performances tonight!

More of Kane and Daniel Bryan’s Anger Management class!  Its trust fall time!  Kane caught him!  This honestly shocked me.  I did not expect Kane to follow through.  Now Kane and Bryan have to catch Harold (Scorpio Sky).  They both pull away!  “I think I finally understand you Kane.”  Oh this is hysterical.  I’ve been predicting it for awhile now, but I absolutely expect a tag team title gauntlet match with Kane and Daniel Bryan showing up at the end to win it all.

Anger Management Week 2 Part 2 – 2:37

Maybe the funniest 6 minutes of TV you’ll see this week.  The editing work on this must have been a bitch.  All of that quality crammed into a small time frame is an achievement.

Sheamus (World champion) vs. CM Punk (WWE Champion).

Both major champions are not in the main event.   Just adding fuel to Punk’s fire.  Punk decides its Labor Day and he doesn’t feel like working.  The Champion ditches the ring and the show and leaves the arena in a limo.  AJ asks Matt Striker who he is.  Poor Striker.  AJ tries to find an opponent.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger.

Alberto Del Rio joins for commentary to hype up Night of Champions.  Swagger is moving around well for someone who almost had his neck broken last week.  Jack is moving tonight!  He’s looking good and trying hard.  Does he pair up that well with Sheamus or is WWE about to build him back up?  Sheamus locks on, of all things, the Texas Cloverleaf, ot get the win.  Well there’s a move that now needs a new name.

Ricardo Rodriguez distracts Sheamus so Del Rio can come in and attack.  Sheamus is too smart though and he fights off both men.  He hits White Noise on Del Rio and goes for the Brogue Kick but Ricardo sacrifices himself for his boss.

Usually I complain about short matches featuring champions but this built up Sheamus, Del Rio, the PPV and Swagger looked strong as well.  Nothing bad to say about this match at all.

Introducing ADR/ Swagger – 1:22

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger – 2:45
Sheamus wins (Duh)

ADR attacking Sheamus/Ricardo knocked out – 1:17

ADR/Ricardo – 0:40

Sheamus did well, Swagger did well, Del Rio looked like a great heel and a huge story with Ricardo.  All in under 7 minutes.  I complained last week that so many wrestlers were not given time to tell their stories.  Then we have many matches with the same amount of time this week, but of much better quality.  Someone has taught me a lesson.

Eve vs. Kaitlyn.

Layla joins for commentary.   Eve and Kaitlyn worked their asses off for this match, and got talked over the entire time.  Miz was so busy putting himself over he ignores the match.  And it was a good match!  Some good moves put together, nice story to the bout, and Layla put over both women and herself.  Well, when she wasn’t responding to the Miz.  Miz was so rude to the women I wouldn’t be shocked to learn he just got dumped by one of the three.  Kaitlyn gets hurt and Eve steps back just long enough for the referee to step aside.  Kick to the gut and a neck breaker and Eve looks great.  This upcoming Divas title match is a pairing that we have not seen before and I’m actually excited for it.

Kaitlyn/Eve intros – 0:56

Kaitlyn vs. Eve – 3:10
Eve wins

Trust me.  If you were able to pay attention to the match its a good one.  Again, talent that made the most of a small amount of time.  Just a damn shame that Miz had to run his mouth over all of it.

AJ catches up with Jack Swagger backstage.  Swags is trying to leave but AJ stops him.  Brock, Jericho, Punk and Swagger.  AJ feels like everyone is leaving her and she’s starting to crack.  That angle could really go somewhere.  This might be a nice slow burn.

Daniel Bryan and Kane start to yell at each other, thus ruining the end of their classes.  The WWE Universe can vote on what type of match the two should be involved in tonight.

Ricardo is hurt and Del Rio actually seems worried.  He has already hired the services of the best lawyer in Chicago, David Otunga.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback.

And now Miz shines on the mic.  What bizarre commentating.  He says size isn’t enough, if it were Big Show would hold titles for years.  The secret is psychology and he drops names like HBK, Y2J and MIZ.  Well, he’s a heel he should include himself.  Excellent points though.  The match is nearly a squash.  Poor Jinder.  I was enjoying watching him the last few weeks.  The guy has definitely improved.  Ryback is exactly what he should be right now.  Quick power filled matches and the fans eat it up.  No need to throw him in there for 15-20 minute matches yet.

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal – 2:12
Ryback wins.

Well at least he didn’t nearly injure anyone this week.  Fun fact, Ryback reads those two books a month during his half hour lunch breaks.  When it only takes 2.12 minutes to feed him more that leaves nearly 28 minutes to get through a chapter or two.

I would be much more interested in tonight’s Raw celebrity tweeter if it was Harvey Birdman.

AJ ups the stakes for tonight’s main event.  Her craziness transcends time and space to the extent that Buckcherry wrote a song about her years before she debuted on TV.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in………….?

One on One, Team Up, or Hug It Out?

#WWEHug wins with 55%.  That is fantastic.  Neither man wants to hug the other.  They are more hesitant than diners at any restaurant Tommy Dreamer passed up.  They bump and the referee tells them that’s not good enough.  Just the fact that there is a referee is hysterical.  Bryan hugs Kane and the crowd pops!  They begin to chant “hug him back”.  This is like the opening comedy match for an indy show.  The fact that it is in the middle of a live Raw makes this moment all the more comical and surreal.  The referee is looking closely, like he’s going to have to call an illegal move!  Kane hugs Daniel, but Bryan didn’t hug back.  They must embrace each other!  Both men finally hug and the crowd are on their feet!  They shake hands too!  But then it breaks down into one shoulder slap too hard.  The anger has returned!  The hug has been broken!  The two get a little too physical and we’re now in a full blown fight!  Inside and outside of the ring.  Kane finally gets the upper hand and takes Bryan down with a massive choke slam.  Kane wraps a chair around Bryan’s neck and is about to break it when the referees come down to stop him.  This gives Bryan enough time to recover and get up with that chair in order to smash it into Kane’s face.  Those referees have been quite busy tonight.

Hug-it-out-turned-brawl – 13:09

Well seeing that this was 13 minutes might change how I think about it.  I would rather see 13 minutes of Daniel Bryan wrestling.  Not hugging.  I already watched the Wrestling Road Diaries.  I’ve seen him hug!  Still a great segment.  But I don’t want it, especially not for this length, every week.

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro (United States champion, with Aksana).

The entire story is whether or not Santino can gain the Cobra sock puppet.  This is the source of his power.  Like Solomon’s hair.  It doesn’t happen and Antonio very easily defeats Santino.  Cesaro looked amazing here and I hope after this feud with Santino he is allowed to move on to something bigger and better.

Cesaro/Santino Entrances – 2:14

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino – 2:06
Antonio Cesaro wins.

The entrances took longer than the match?!  Antonio deserves so much more.  Put him in the ring with another skilled wrestler and let them go!  Hopefully Antonio has a great match at Night of Champions.

Heath Slater vs. Zack Ryder.

Wow.  Once a year someone higher up in WWE is quoted saying the young guys need to create their own opportunities.  Seize what little is offered.  That is exactly what happens here.  No exaggeration, this may be my favorite match of the week.  Yes it was short but they busted their asses out here.  Great work by both men who deserve so much more.  Zack gets the win and the internet rejoices.

Slater/Ryder Intro – 0:21

Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater – 2:59
Ryder wins.

Eh, three minutes seems right for this.  No title, no consequences from the match.  Probably the best amount of time.  If Slater gets a rematch I want it to be longer.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and stages a sit in until AJ comes out.  No AJ, so Vickie talks to an empty chair.  WWE loves to parody recent things in the news but it usually doesn’t go well for them.  Thankfully AJ comes out within a minute and the musical chairs stops.    AJ just got off the phone with the WWE Board of Directors and she cant lay her hands on any WWE wrestler, manager, etc.  She says she’s sorry but I feel AJ has a swerve coming here.

I think the last time I saw an older woman get in a younger woman’s face like this in an attempt to put her in a place it was the grand finale to Seducing the Babysitter 27.

AJ forces out an apology but Vickie slaps her anyways.  AJ wants to unleash the craziness, but she cant touch Vickie!  Another slap!  Some great acting here.  And Vickie skips away!  I cant believe I’m saying this but you’re damn right I’ll put money down to watch Vickie vs. AJ.  Unleash the crazy bitch!

AJ flips out.  She slams the chair into the mat, throws, it, throws herself down on the ring apron.  She better be the best actor in WWE.  Because if this isn’t an act then the girl will need some serious help sooner than later.

AJ/Vickie Recap – 0:34

AJ/Vickie Segment – 9:49

Alright, this seems too simple to stretch out for 10 minutes.  I don’t like you, I want you fired, I cant touch you, slap, slap, maniacal laugh.  I loved the segment but I do still come here for the wrestling.

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio.  Falls Count Anywhere Match.

Both men get introduced, then we go to a commercial break and when the show returns Del Rio is hitting a HUGE power move.  Big spinning back breaker.  Well this should be interesting.  And by interesting I of course mean, John Cena with a drop kick.  “This however he does very often.”  Man, Miz was shit in that Divas match but otherwise he’s been pretty good tonight.

Wow!  Del Rio leaps over the steps to avoid Cena, but John jumps over them too and runs into Del Rio.  Then a two count on the floor.  I did not expect to sit down and watch Raw tonight and rave about Alberto.  Kick to the back of John’s head!  I cannot believe how much I’m enjoying this match.  THIS is the Del Rio we should always see.

Cena drags the steel steps over to the announce table and I’m curious as hell.  Some fan dressed as Macho Man is front row.  Everything about the show is great.  Cena picks up Del Rio for the AA but walks up the steps and is about to hit his signature move through the table.  ADR reverses it and puts Cena through the table.  John kicks out but they are going to probably need a brand new table before Smackdown is taped.

Alberto gets on the mic and says everything – WWE, the title, Cena and even Chicago is beneath him.  Del Rio grabs for Cena’s arm but John reverses it into the STF.  One of the arm bands wraps around Del Rio and there has to be a great picture of that up on WWE.com.   Del Rio grabs the mic and breaks it over John’s head, thus breaking the hold as well.

The two gladiators fight to the outside and both men are hurt after a suplex on the ramp.  Alberto is down and Cena gets the idea of putting Del Rio through the car.  John grabs a speaker but before he can bring it down, Del Rio attacks the leg.  The fight moves to backstage.

Nice bookending of Raw.  We started and ended backstage.

Its a great fight and all seems over when John hits the AA on some equipment crates.  CRACK!  CM Punk has returned and kicked Cena right in the back of the head!  Punk grabs Del Rio and throws him over John’s body.  Del Rio with the win.

CM Punk picks up John Cena and drops him with the GTS, right on a car hood!  Punk leaves Cena laying and gets into the… passenger side of the car?  One pose with the title later and Punk is in the car, which now drives past the defeated John Cena.  The driver of the car slows down to get a better look at this fallen hero.  OMG, the driver is Paul Heyman.

The crowd goes insane and I cannot wait.  Many of us were wondering how CM Punk’s heel turn could be the big summer angle.  This is that missing piece.

Cena/ADR Entrances – 3:15

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio – 13:12
ADR wins

Ending Segment – 1:09

I cant believe I’m saying this, but I could have watched this match go on for a half hour.  That’s right John Cena and Alberto Del Rio. I would have watched this on pay per view and been happy with however much it cost.  One of the best Raws in recent memory.