Its the much hyped in the non comic book media gay mutant wedding issue.

For those of you new to this site, we discuss things with heavy spoilers here so go away if you haven’t read the issue yet.  If you have, click through to read the full review.

Remember in the comic book boom of the 1990s how every publisher would have a flashy cover with absolutely no substance inside.  When it was all about the gimmick?  That is exactly what happens here.

Northstar and Kyle get married.  First of all, kudos.  This is a milestone in comics and I look forward to many other characters gay straight bi and any other options that a universe full of aliens, gods and all other forms of being could exist also getting married.  We should all celebrate two people finding love in a difficult world.  We should also allow any competent adult to marry any other competent adult they wish.  Good for Marvel, good for everyone.

All of that said, its a shitty book.

For one, there seems to be some unspoken rule that comic book weddings must include action scenes.  The X-Men are known for having “down time” issues in between major events.  Why not have this just be a down time issue?  There are certainly many aspects of a wedding and wedding planning that were never once mentioned let alone shown on page that could have filled the pages.  No, instead we get a mind controlling mutant getting mind controlled herself.  All of which was set up last issue, however none of this flows with what happened in the last issue.  An entire issue’s worth of battle and set up is skipped over so this heavy handed stand off between mind controlled Kyle and Northstar can happen.  Only by nearly killing each other do they realize how much they love each other.  Because we all loved Mr and Mrs Smith so much.

Through the near death experience, Kyle changes his mind and a wedding is planned.   In one week.  To be held in Central Park.  With numerous X-Men and many other heroes (some of the Avengers are seen in the background) attending.  I’m willing to accept a lot in comic books, but I cannot accept that with one week’s notice the stars aligned so perfectly that two teams of the greatest heroes on Earth had nothing to do, no evil to thwart and also no other group had already booked an event for that part of Central Park that day.  I’m planning a wedding myself, I don’t care what your mutant powers are – it takes more than a week to plan.

Speaking of mutants, there is an awful lot of non acceptance going around in this comic.  From mutants!  Who are outcasts themselves!  I might be able to forgive Warbird.  She is not human, or mutant really.  She is Shi’ar.  Also Warbird doesn’t come out and say what her issue is against the wedding.  She might just not approve of any marriage ceremony between anyone.  It isn’t necessarily an anti gay stance.

But Havoc and Puck need to get their heads out of their asses.  “Its weird.”  Yes.  So a mutant dwarf and a man who has been brainwashed and put into alternate worlds more times than I can count thinks two men showing their love for each other is “weird”.  There are a couple of heroes I could accept in this role.  They still shouldn’t call the situation “weird” but if, say, Captain America said something along the lines of, boy things sure have changed in my lifetime – yes.  That would make sense and not come across as a stupid thing for a character to say.

They get married, and that’s great, but then Wolverine is ripped in half.  Which means as of next issue this marriage no longer matters because we need to piece Humpty Wolvie together again and find out who mind controls the mind controllers.

All of this to gain new readers and get new fans into the comic book stores.  Comic book stores which are featuring X-Men titles in which they are fighting the Avengers.  And Wolverine, who is an X-Man in this comic is more of an Avenger in those titles.  He is also in one piece.  Oh, and Northstar doesn’t appear in AVX.  So… thanks for buying this one comic everyone!  Pretty sure you wont be back, but it was nice while it lasted.