Wow that’s a long title.  But its a big Raw and therefore it needed a big title.  Its not even a three hour Raw for any good reason.  Lets hope we have good reason for this show tonight and get right into it.

That opening video is sad.  The first 5-10 (I lost count) guys on the Raw opening video aren’t currently active in the company.  Maybe the big summer storyline is to get rid of all the main event talent for one reason or another and force the mid card guys to step up.

Big Johnny comes out and before he can get his entire name and title out of his mouth Mr McMahon comes out to a huge ovation.  It would be a sad fact that anytime WWE’s ratings go down they push the McMahon family to the front.  However, listen to that pop.  Obviously it worked, at least for tonight.

Vince immediately threatens to fire Johnny.  Ace comes back with “People Power”.  Its an average dueling promo however two stand out lines.  Vince calls out Johnny for hiring the wrong one legged wrestler.  Wow that is a hysterical and little known true story to just randomly throw in there.  Also Vince says Big Show hasn’t been worth it since 1998.  Kind of a dick thing to say for someone who has been a multiple champion and main event wrestler for the company for years.  I’m throwing a guess out there that Big Show will have a response later tonight.

Johnny says everyone loves him, which brings out Sheamus.  Words, blah blah, Johnny sucks.  Vince issues his edict.  Every match has to be great, it better be an amazing Raw.  If not, Johnny’s fired.

Vince rides Johnny’s People Power scooter up the ramp.  He must have tore his quads getting in the ring again.  Vince pushes the Hover Round off the ramp.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announce that Alberto Del Rio suffered a concussion during his match against the Great Khali on Smackdown this past week.  Del Rio is pulled from No Way Out and a replacement will be made tonight for the World title match.

Sheamus (World champion) vs. Tensai (with Sakamoto).

Very different match for Sheamus tonight.  He’s playing the small guy role, and pulling it off.  Quick punches and kicks.  Showing off some speed.  Working the legs when he can and trying to drop Tensai down.  This is Tensai’s best match since his return.  He needed someone who can work the strong style with him.  Neither Sheamus nor Tensai want to pull punches.  They both want to go out there and beat the shit out of another guy who is giving him an ass kicking as well.  Then they go to the back and away from the eyes of fans shake each other’s hands in mutual respect.

Sheamus has some blood trickling down his face.  Both men are trying everything, including climbing the ropes, to get the win.  Neither man is known for such a move.  Sheamus just gets over the Brogue Kick into the upper echelon of finishers.  No one saw that coming, especially Tensai.  Sheamus picks up the pin.  Tensai looked great here.  But, lets build him back up now.  He’s lost two in a row and that’s not a good thing for a new monster.

Vince and Johnny talk backstage.  Teddy stands by.  Vickie suggests her charges to face Sheamus.  Teddy comes up with a Number One contender match and Johnny steals the idea.  He is just such a weak person.  Also, rumor is he’s no longer the executive vice president of talent relations.  For real.  Just an on air talent now.

Back in the ring, Tensai is smacking around Sakamoto.  Blaming his second for the recent losses.  Dumping Sakamoto could be a good way to repackage Tensai.  Very interested in where this goes next week.

Seth Green remembers his favorite Raw moment as a lead up to the 1000th episode.  Like a true WWE Superstar, his favorite moment involves himself.

HA! Backstage I think the mic is off but it turns out Truth is talking to himself.  Matt Striker interview R-Truth.  Truth cuts a promo predicting Cena to win at No Way Out. BAM! Big Show fist to the face!  Wow.  That punch is devastating and scary, and only more so when you don’t see it coming.  Also, Truth missed out on one of the weekend shows and had to be replaced in a tag title match.  Is this also an injury angle?

Santino Marella (US Champion) and Layla (Divas champion) vs. Beth Phoenix and Ricardo Rodriguez.

This is a great match idea.  The only loser here is the US title.  Everything else makes a lot of sense and looked good.  Ricardo gets over as a chicken shit, and as a comedy wrestler.  He is the perfect foil for Santino.  Beth gets to be her dominant ass kicking self and destroys Layla.  She even bosses around the men in the match.  Ricardo is stripped and revealed to be wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt that’s a few sizes too small.  Great comedy skit.  The only shame is that the US title doesn’t look to have any value.

David Otunga kisses Vince’s ass.  Kofi wants Big Show.  Johnny makes a match and ups the ante by putting it in a steel cage.  Damn this is a big Raw.

Daniel Bryan cuts a hysterical promo on his opponents at No Way Out and on AJ.  “Once you go Bryan, you give up tryin.”  Oh he’s too damn funny.  From someone who came in to WWE with no fanfare he has evolved into an amazing heel.  CM Punk comes out to respond and be his usual awesome self.  Also, he still digs crazy chicks.  Don’t we all.  Punk and Bryan have great dueling promos and the phrase “goat face” is now over with the WWE Universe.  Kane comes out and just towers over both men.  Kane reminds everyone how sick and crazy he is.  Did someone say crazy?!  AJ comes out in her new CM Punk gear.  The fans start chanting “crazy chick”.  This is a great crowd.

The number one trend worldwide is #GoatFace.

Johnny makes a huge inter gender tag team match for later tonight.  This is a good Raw!  Crazy chicks rule!

I want to make jokes but the Domino’s pizza tracker is pretty ingenious.

#1 Contender’s match: Christian (Intercontinental champion) vs. the Great Khali vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler.

There’s no chance Khali wins this match, but I would think the announcers would do more to get over the chop as an injury causing move.  Everyone gangs up on Khali and its a triple pin.  Oh nice, its also an elimination match!  Well, with three hours and a lot of story possibilities within this match that’s a great decision.

Speaking of possibilities!  Wow!  Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger then rolls out of the way to sell it.  Dolph sneaks in and pins his sometimes tag team partner!  Oh there is so so much that can be done off of that one pin.  Vickie is losing her mind over everything.  Dolph eliminating Swagger, and now Dolph not being able to finish off Christian.

Christian runs for a Spear but his ankle gives out.  The two men remaining jockey for position and Christian comes back with a short spear.  Two count that Dolph answers with a leg drop and its only a two.  Christian comes off the top, Dolph avoids it and Christian lands on the already injured ankle.  That was the big mistake needed, and Dolph hits the Zig Zag for the pin.  Damn that was a good match.

So far this is a great Raw.

Natalya asks Vince to have the whole Hart family invited back to Raw.  The Funkettes ask for Brodus Clay to be brought back to Raw.  This is so very werid.  And then it gets weirder.  Vince with a “somebody call me momma!”  And Mr McMahon gets down!  Alright, that was worth it.  Then he walks into Zack Ryder and gives a Woo Woo Woo You Know It.  These backstage segments are frequently not worth it but that was one of the best goofy backstage walks I’ve ever seen.  I cant believe how good this Raw has been.

Ryback has pyro now?!

Ryback vs. Willard Fillmore and Rutherford “PS” Hayes.

HA!  The two jobbers are great.  They come out after Ryback to make him wait.  Then its just domination and destruction.  The Ryback needs to be fed.  Ryback picks up both men, marches around, and drops them with a modified Samoan drop.  I cant wait for him to face a real Superstar, but so far its fun to see these squashes.

Backstage with Vince.  Hornswoggle and Vince have dueling JR impressions. Cena tells Vince he’ll take out Show.  David Otunga embarrasses professional ass kisser William Regal. Fun thing to show while setting up the cage.

Kofi Kingston (1/2 tag team champions) vs. Big Show. Steel cage match.

For the most part its a massacre.  Show is in there to be big and scary and look like a monster before the upcoming PPV.  Kofi tries to fight back a little, and gets in a couple of moves.  But for the most part its futile.  Big Show hits a knock out punch and then parades around the ring, soaking in the fear and hate of the crowd.  Really now, what do you do when someone is knocked out in a steel cage match?  There’s no need to call the match – because the opponent can easily pin or walk out of the cage while the adversary is knocked out.  It was actually more distrubing that Big Show took his sweet ass time.

Sin Cara vs. Curt Hawkins.

Well, it cant all be good I guess.  Nothing about the gimmick has been changed for the better.  Still the same set of moves, the mood lighting.  He’s squashing better wrestlers.  Well, they’re better in WWE.  Maybe Sin Cara did do some cool things in Mexico.  He’s yet to do anything here.  Oh, Sin Cara wins if you didn’t know.

Big Show vs. John Cena is considered the main event for No Way Out?  Not the WWE or World title match.  Nor Triple H addressing the WWE Universe about Brock Lesnar?  Wow, Cena really is the star of the show.

Vince gives Daniel Bryan a little bit of shit.  Lawler tells us that a former Raw main event star will be appearing next.  If they do this the next six weeks I’m all for it.

Dolph Ziggler’s favorite moment is the first Raw.  Which he was not a part of!  That’s great!  What a humble show off!

Heath Slater vs… a former Raw main eventer.

Heath says screw the past, its his time, its Slater time.  What a nice hint.  Its Vader time!!!  He still looks huge, but he’s looking alright for a “retired” wrestler.  “Let’s go Vader” chants.  Credit to Vader for looking good and putting on a hell of a show out there.  Credit to Slater for bumping like a champ and helping Vader look good here.  Vader splashes off for the WWE version of Vader Time and squashes Heath.  Vader Time is the number one trend in the world.  Cole says there will be returning names every week.  Great ideas tonight!

CM Punk and AJ talk backstage and there is so much going on in this quick segment.  AJ is nuts, Punk knows it but he wants to protect her too.  She may be the number one Diva in the company right now.

Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk (WWE Champion) and AJ.

The match wont be the usual greatness from Punk and Bryan.  Its all about the AJ story.  Very well done here too.  Punk takes an ass kicking because he knows he cant tag in AJ.  AJ looks on scared that a tag might come.  Punk falls into AJ and the referee counts it as a tag.  AJ comes in, and bounces around the ring like a little pixie.  Its one of the greatest Raw moments of all time.  AJ leaps up and kisses Kane!  Kane is stunned.  The match has ground to a halt.  Kane tags out so he doesn’t have to deal with her anymore.  Bryan charges after AJ and AJ retreats into Punk’s tag.  Punk gets in a lucky elbow, followed up by an elbow drop and Punk and AJ get the win.  Wow this was crazy.  I mean not a wrestling match by any means, but the story here is awesome.  AJ then sits cross legged in the middle of the ring, mimicking Punk!

Mr McMahon comes out with security.  Maximus Bauer is one of the security guards!  Lets get him signed. I of course say that in the hopes that him signing will lead to one of our favorites, Roxxi, also known as the girlfriend of Bauer, would also be signed to WWE.  All signs point to Big Johnny getting fired.  Big Show comes out and cuts the promo of his career on McMahon.  Show blames Vince for all the goofiness, all the costumes, all the silly work.  Show is going to now be a giant and be a monster.  It may have taken this long, but its a short list of people who can give Vince shit to his face and get away with it – and now Big Show has earned a spot on that list.  John Cena finally makes his appearance on Raw.  He says that Big Show’s real agenda is to have everything be about him.  Its a big match, it puts Show in the spotlight and revolves the WWE Universe around him.  Good points.

Big Show has heard enough and starts tossing all the security out.  Big brawl that ends with… Big Show accidently punching out Vince!  Great ending to the show, which would only be made better if Show had connected properly with that punch.  The first angle its obvious the punch grazed the top of Vince’s head.  The replay adds some shakey cam footage and makes it all the better.

Damn good Raw though and an exciting PPV ahead.