We are once again at 9PM on a Monday Night, and like it has been for over a decade, its time for WWE Raw.

Speaking of over a decade ago, I think that was the last time Johnny Ace was in a ring.  And that was in Japan.  There may be some stateside appearance in one of those random WCW tag teams from around the world thing.  But bottom line is that he has never, never mattered in the US.  And yet he’s going to talk for 10 minutes about what will unfortunately very possibly be the main event at the next pay per view.

You know how fans keep telling Hogan and Flair, even Undertaker and Triple H, that its time to retire and hang up the boots?  Well John Laurinaitis didn’t even get over in America at the same time/age as the aforementioned men.  So WWE is doing a “one more time” “returning” Superstar angle for a superstar who has never been in a WWE ring.

Thank God for the USA and for CM Punk!  Its what you would expect.  Punk puts Ace in his place and a match that benefits Johnny’s wishes is made for later tonight.  But it was good to hear someone who knows what they’re doing on the mic.  And knows how to excite a crowd.

Johnny Ace walks into Big Show and yells at him for being a lummox.  Don’t call him a goof with that voice Johnny!  People will think you’re saying something else.  Eve then gives Big Show a dirty look.  She’s just… ugh…. what is her gimmick?  Gold digger?  Opportunist?

Cody Rhodes (IC champ) vs. Big Show.

From the title graphics, I’m guessing the Intercontinental title will be keeping the white leather for awhile.  Cody pussies out and walks away with a count out.  Show wants Cody to come back and do the match right.  Eve comes out, because the story is Big Show vs Eve I guess.

Eve makes Big Show apologize for mocking Johnny’s voice.  Eve’s short skirt must have plenty of pockets to carry around Show’s balls.  Total emasculation.  Also, the threat of firing Show doesn’t make sense within the continuity of the show.  Not even within the Laurinaitis continuity.  It was just established not half an hour ago that there are big wrestling promotions in Japan.  Big Show might be a “freak”. But that freak could damn sure make a ton of money in Japan if WWE and Eve were to fire him.  Grow a set Big Show!

Kofi Kingston (with R-Truth) vs. Dolph Ziggler (with Jack Swagger and Vickie Guerrero)

There is a LOT that happens here.  Which is amazing, because its only a 6 or so minute segment.  Kofi and Dolph put on a good match, because they are both fantastic wrestlers.  The match becomes over booked, but in the rarely seen good way!  Vickie tries to distract Kofi.  The referee gets involved, as does Truth.  This allows Swagger to trip Kofi off the ropes and stun him long enough for the Zig Zag and Dolph gets the pin.  It was all seamless and made sense.  Now there are weeks of matches to happen.  Jack vs. Truth, tag matches, and an inevitable title match.  In six minutes, five people got over and have the next month or two of their story lines mapped out.  Well done.

Then there was the backstage intrigue.  AW is watching the match with his new clients, the former tag champs Epico and Primo, with Rosa.  When all of a sudden Mason Ryan appears.  Damn.  The big guy hasn’t been seen in awhile, but coming into this angle would be a good bump for him.  AW and Vickie?  Are managers back?!

John Cena “via satellite” has an interview and says he’ll beat Laurinaitis at Over the Limit.  That’s really all that happened here.  Oh there’s a Divas match next.  I bet Cena got more time.

Kelly Kelly and Layla (Divas champ) vs. Natalya and Maxine with Beth Phoenix joining for commentary.

What in the fuck?  No one knows who Maxine is.  Your serious marks do of course, but not the majority of Raw viewers.  When did Natalya become a heel again?  Last I saw she was against Beth and then against AJ for that heel turn.  Doesn’t matter as Natalya doesn’t even get involved in the match.  Neither does Kelly Kelly.  Ugh.  Layla wins, because she should in this scenario.  But if you’re not going to make a match matter then why have it at all?

Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) and Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus (World champion).

Did Michael Cole say we don’t see Orton throw too many dropkicks?  I’m pretty sure he does one per match.  And its a pretty good one.

The match itself is nothing.  Easy going match.  Killing time.  Waiting for the finish.  But once the finish happens, all becomes clearer.  This sets up the World title match at Over the Limit.  Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick on Jericho but he ducks and Orton gets hit.  Chris then hits a Code Breaker and pins the World champion.  Del Rio is part of the winning team.  Everyone has an issue here and I’ll bet a four way for the World title is about to be announced.

As if on queue Orton hits an RKO on Sheamus.  Yeah, this match is going to be announced very soon.

Johnny’s office becomes the site of debates and fights.  So by “very soon” I guess I meant in five minutes, because that match is made.

Cameron and Naomi get their own introductions now too?  This is the most ridiculous entrance possibly ever.  Its up there with Glacier’s purposely ironic entrance.  At least that was a joke.  I’m not sure that anyone is actually in on this joke.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

“If I wanted to see King Hippo dance I’d play Mike Tyson’s Punch Out”.  Wow.  Best line of the night.  Its a damn shame Miz is getting buried like this.  Something happened backstage to cause this fall from grace.  Miz out wrestles and out classes Brodus at all times.  Clay gets in one good move to pin Miz.  Its a damn shame for Miz and Brodus looks like a joke.  He’s not even a dominant giant.  He gets lucky.

Brock sends his “legal representation”.  Its Paul Heyman!  Its Paul Heyman!  Paul E is back!!!!

And he is still golden on the mic.  He gets over Brock, himself, the WWE, the whole angle, everything.  All in about five minutes.  He is one of the best promo men in the history of wrestling.  Hey, with the Vickie and AW stuff from earlier plus Paul coming back does this confirm that managers are back?

Big Show talks to two guys on a new USA show.  I don’t know… Pacific Blue maybe.  They and Show laugh about Johnny then Eve gives a dirty look.  Groan.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai AND Daniel Bryan?!

And another match that does a lot.  CM Punk and Daniel get to tease their upcoming match.  And they click very well.  That’s going to be a match of the year candidate.  Lord Tensai isn’t perfect, but he’s trying.  It was more a matter of being a step off with an unfamiliar opponent and not a crappy worker.  His next match with Punk will be that much better.  There will be more too, as he pinned Punk.  Logically, Tensai has to be given a title shot sometime soon.

Really good show and Over the Limit is shaping up to be another must order PPV.  Good job WWE.