Our boy Rob just posted his picks for the winners of the 2012 Grammy awards.  For those of you who don’t know, Rob is the one that posts all of our music reviews here.  I like music, but I’m old and as we should all know by now, the older you get the worse popular music becomes in your mind.  I bought two CDs in the last year and they were both Adam WarRock.  So, take that however you like.

With my limitations explained lets see how I can make some Grammy picks.

Record of the year:  I don’t know who or what a Bon Iver is.  I was hoping some sort of Bon Jovi cover band but that probably wouldn’t lead to a nomination.  Bruno Mars needs to just land on that grenade and finally shut up.  Even I have heard that song.  But not enough of it stayed in my head to remember if he would also take friendly fire and/or shrapnel for me as well.  Katy Perry has boobs and Elmo hates them.  That’s the extent of my knowledge there.  I heard a joke about Mumble and Sons once and that’s that.  So I’ll pick Adele.  Adele I have actually heard, and love, and think she’s one of those few talents that will still be listened to in 100 years.  I just got the live DVD as well, that’s how much I like this one.

This makes Album of the year easy as well.  Still going with Adele.  Grenade sounds nothing like a Doo Wop song.  Any time I’ve seen Rihanna mentioned in the last year its because she was in some skimpy outfit.  Clothes don’t sing.  Yet.  I’ve never crossed anything from Lady Gaga that made me think yes, that, that jam is for me!  And I do love Foo Fighters so whenever I delve back into some rock music this year I will pick this up.  If a rock album is good enough to get nominated then its probably really really good because hard rock acts don’t get a whole lot of love at awards.

Record of the year: We’ve talked about everyone else in this category already.  I’ll still pick Adele.  And I’m not the biggest Kanye West fan in the world.  That’s his job.  His singles are always catchy as hell but he believes all of his own hype.

Best New Artist:  The Band Perry?  Is this Katy Perry on lead and her friends as the backup band?  This reminds me of an old friend getting all excited over a new CD.  “Its Dave Matthews first solo CD.”  So he’s playing without a band?  Just him?  “No, there’s a band still.”  Wouldn’t that still be Dave Matthews’s band?  And thus not a solo CD?  Its not like the band had their own name.  Matchbox 20 is different than a solo Rob Thomas CD, even if he still has a band behind him.  But the band is called Dave’s band.  Under the properties of possessive ownership, he can thrown anyone he likes in that band and still call it Dave’s band.

Here’s how lame I am.  I’ve only heard two of the songs of the year.  Adele, duh.  And Grenade is just everywhere.  I didn’t even know Pink was still around.  Nor did I know she was still spelling her name with an exclamation point.  P!nk.  Must wreak havoc on spell checks around the world.

Best Pop Duo Group Performance.  Holy fuck get that moves like Jagger song away from me.  Gah its horrible.  Just a straight up cash grab to make the dance song of the year.  Fact.  Some chicks went to the bar last night, had way too much to drink, heard this song come on and screamed “that’s my jam!!!!” despite not a one of them ever listening to one second of a Rolling Stones song.  How does Tony Bennett keep coming back into the popular songs lists?  Remember when this took place in the 90s?  I think I’ll look this one up and hope for the best.  The potential is sound.

Best Rock Performance:  Wow, I am incredibly out of the loop.  I don’t know any of these songs.  My fiance loves the Decemberists so I’ll give them my pick.  Its not until this category that I really feel like I’m lame.  I need to start up Spotify this week.

Oh what the fuck!?  Best metal performance and I know none of this!  Well if this article has done anything it has taught me that its fine to ignore the top 40 I need to return to my rock and metal roots.  Is Metal Edge magazine still published?  What about Circus?  Rip?

And this is where the article will end.  The rest of Rob’s article is amazing and I have never been happier to have him on here because I just could not keep track of all of this.  Its probably time for me to listen to some music again.  Open to suggestions!