I loved Wolverine and the X-Men so much I decided to pick up a couple other recent X-Men titles this week.  Would I enjoy them as much?  Would they fall flat?  Click for more and find out.

Well, I’m hating this.  A lot.  Emma Frost and Danger are having an overly dramatic conversation.  Danger is having this overly detailed conversation with the former White Queen explaining their shared history for new readers like myself.  Oh, if you’re as lost as I am, Danger is the long standing Danger Room become sentient being.   How could something like this happen you may ask?  Well apparently Danger has always been alive but Xavier, retroactive douchebag that he is, made her “stay” a room.  Stay a room.  I don’t think I’ve ever written or said that before in my life.

Ohhh, the Quincarrier, the “mobile headquarters of the Secret Avengers”.  That’s pretty cool.  Sounds like I should be picking up Secret Avengers instead of this book so far.

And it looks like Beast is a member of that group.  Well, this must be before WatXM #1, or Beast has become very popular in the last couple years, so popular he can be on more than one team book.  You know, Wolverine level popular.  Beast sees through Emma’s attempt at a covert break in, and he leaps away in pursuit.  Beast confronts Emma, Danger has picked up a severed robotic head, and all is about to be revealed.  Oh, its Machinesmith a long forgotten Marvel villain, communicating through WiFi to this new characters.  Sure why not.

Beast and Emma talk way too much about teams that should be secret, like the X-Men and the, duh, SECRET Avengers!  Machinesmith takes over Danger’s mind, and it looks like the telepath is the only one who didn’t see that coming.  Now Beast and Emma are fighting the Danger Smith while Danger and Machinesmith have a far too lengthy discussion in the mind.  In fact, this whole book is far too wordy.  Not saying I don’t enjoy a good read, but the inner workings of Danger’s mind is not my definition of a good read.

Machinesmith reveals he has been mind raping Danger, and she decides to not be a victim anymore.  She destroys what there is of Machinesmith’s mind and we get the best line in the book, “you are binary whereas I am poetry”.  The execution of this story may not have worked, but that line is fucking amazing.

Everyone calms down, Emma and Danger are allowed to leave in peace.  Then Emma has a nice motherly/older sister conversation with Danger and everything that just happened to her is compared to having sex.  That’s right, this whole story was about Danger in her quest to learn what it is to be human, learning what it is to be a teenage girl and have a guy lie to you in order to get into your pants.

Maybe its because I am neither teenage nor a girl but what in the fuck.

The cover for the next issue looks great, but I cant come back to this.