Hope you guys enjoyed the previous column on cruiserweights in WWE.  Today’s plea to Triple H involves the thing called the Divas division.

Dear Triple H;

Please fire the whores.  Thank you.

If WWE wants to free up a lot of money real fast, fire the women that are under contract despite having no wrestling talent whatsoever.  I was going to list all of the women that should be fired but honestly its easier to list the keepers.  Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Kharma, (Melina), and Natalya.  That’s all.  All of the women that are trying and learning?  Yeah, that’s what FCW is for.  Stay there until you learn your craft.  Also, I put Melina in parentheses because she is hit or miss depending on the opponent.  Kharma is out for a year give or take, so we’re down to three women.  Its time for Triple H to hire some women!

Some of you might think that Hunter isn’t qualified to build up a good women’s division.  But I remind you.  He is the man who took two average looking women and stayed with them as they metamorphosised into two of the most desirable women on the planet at their peaks.  (Chyna and Stephanie McMahon).  All he needs to do is take women that are already talented wrestlers, and give them better make up and ring gear as needed.  Some are perfect already, some might need a little makeover, and some will be revolutionary because they look so different than what we have come to expect in WWE.  There is one way to make this happen.  It would be easy, the women are known to work seamlessly together, and it would lead to women that could truly be marketed as “strong smart and beautiful”.

Raid Shimmer.

Kings of Wrestling are possibly on their way to WWE, take Sara Del Rey with them.  Cheerleader Melissa, Daizee Haze, Nikki Roxx, Portia Perez and the list goes on and on of women that could engage the audience of the WWE Universe.  Portia could be the most hated and most loved woman in all of wrestling at a switch.  Imagine the money of someone as talented dedicated and crazy as MsChif with the WWE marketing behind her character.  Call up Shantelle Taylor, tell her to throw down the sunglasses, and ask her if she’d like to throw it in TNA’s face.  Don’t just look to Mexico and Japan for men, bring in some women as well.

With the death of the WWE guest host gimmick, there is no reason for the Bella Twins.  They work best as escorts.  There is no longer a WWE and Playboy deal, so why bother with women who were only hired to pose.  The “talent searches” that WWE has had only led to women saying they love wrestling and this is where their hearts and careers lie.  Women like Maria, Ashley, Candice, and other women that are still immersed in WWE where their hearts lie.  What’s that?  They are no where near wrestling?  They lied to us!  I am stunned.  Meanwhile, Trish Stratus received the greatest send off this side of Ric Flair and still came back to kick ass in Tough Enough.  Tara is still busting her ass winning titles in TNA.

Think back to the first episode of Tough Enough when Stone Cold asked that ignorant girl what her favorite wrestling match was.  These are the women that we don’t want or need anywhere in wrestling.  The first thing asked of any woman wanting to be a part of WWE is “who is your favorite woman wrestler”.  If they name three women and one of them is not Moolah or Sherri, there’s the fucking door.  Without a doubt in my mind every woman in Shimmer would pass that test.  I don’t think any of the Divas search “wrestlers” could come up with either name.