Raw begins with a review of CM Punk’s comments from last  week.  There will be a triple threat match tonight to decide a new #1 Contender.  Its a stacked Raw tonight, so lets get right to watching it!

John Cena comes out and talks about CM Punk’s remarks from last week.  Cena says while he doesn’t agree with Punk, he also doesn’t think its fair to remove someone just because you don’t agree with what they say.  Cena brings up Daniel Bryan being fired, and WWE confiscating signs.  The fans start to chant, “first amendment”.  If this CM Punk angle becomes a way to give a new level of freedom to the WWE Superstars, then this could be even bigger than it is now.  John Cena wants answers, not from a computer, but from the real man in charge.  Vince McMahon is on his way to the arena to have words with Cena.

The Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly (Divas champion) and Eve

Kelly looks like she’s having trouble even carrying the belt.  To say nothing of carrying a match.  The Bellas overwhelm Eve and knock her out of the ring.  They then work her over, and this means that Kelly will be getting the hot tag.  This happens and Kelly enters the ring like a woman possessed.  I suppose if you have no technical skills, acting crazy can be a way to mask that.  Eve holds off one Bella while Kelly hits a very slow axe kick on the other Bella for the pin.

A video update on Tough Enough winner, Andy.

R-Truth is on the phone with Flo from Progressive.  I’m torn between hating hearing Truth talk, and the hilarity that is him talking to Flo.  Scott Stanford interviews Truth about tonight’s main event.  Alberto Del Rio comes in to have words with Truth.  Del Rio is dubbed Senor Jimmy.  Damn you Truth, why do you have to be so funny so inconsistently.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty (WWE Tag Team Champions)

It is shocking that this match is taking place on Raw, and not on Superstars.  The tag belts have dropped a lot in prestige since the New Nexus won them.  McG and the A List look like clowns in this match.  Which is a very sad spot for anyone to be in against Santino.  Vlad shows some of that strength that hasn’t been seen since his initial WWE push.  Oh yeah, remember when he challenged for world titles?  Otunga and McGillicutty are both big guys, and Vladimir isn’t that much bigger.  Despite this, Vlad hits a double suplex on the champions.  Santino hits the Cobra on Otunga, but Michael is the legal man and he stops Santino with a swinging neck breaker then the pin.

Zack Ryder! comes out to give the champions a Woo Woo Woo.  Fingers crossed this is going somewhere, but its doubtful.

The Miz cuts a backstage promo.  Miz looks to be snapping.  Evan Bourne and Sgt Slaughter chat until Jack Swagger interrupts.  Awfully disrespectful of the All American American.  Holy shit!  Swagger brings up Sarge’s Iraqi gimmick.

Jack Swagger vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Who do I chant USA for?!  Sarge gets in some respectful offense. Swagger breaks out of the Cobra clutch.  Jack comes off the second rope for a splash and pins Slaughter.  Swagger locks on the ankle lock after the match and Evan Bourne runs down for the save.  The now standing Sarge leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth vs. Rey Mysterio.  Triple Threat match for the #1 Contender’s spot at Money in the Bank PPV.

We’re at the point where the biggest problem with tonight’s show is Lawler and Cole trying to force some witty banter.  It fails in every way possible.  You all know this was taped last week right?  Takes out all the drama.  Truth does not belong in here.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a great R-Truth match.  Rey and Rio have fought almost as much as Dolph and Kofi lately.  Rey hits a 619 on Truth followed by a splash.  While Rey is focused on getting the three count, Del Rio sneaks in and locks an arm bar on Rey.  The WWE Universe has seen this move take out many people already and Rey taps out quickly.  Del Rio is the new number one contender.

Vickie Guerrero and the US champion Dolph Ziggler come down to the ring.   I cant believe I’m saying this, but Vickie actually looks very nice this week.  This might decide what image I use for the article.  Vickie does her saddest Marilyn Monroe Happy Birthday impression.  One of the greatest heels in the world, she is; a great singer she is not.  Dolph says he is a one of a kind, “there will never be another Dolph Ziggler.”  Aren’t you just doing Mr Perfect’s gimmick?  Where is Michael McGillicutty?  No, Kofi Kingston comes out to continue this feud.  Kofi says Dolph cant beat him without Vickie’s help.  Can anyone beat without Vickie’s help?  Kofi pushes Dolph, which knocks Vickie’s ass into the cake.  Well that cake was going right to her ass one way or another.  The two guys chase each other some more and Vickie’s face ends up in the cake.  The fans chant “we want cake” because Vickie is the Marie Antoinette of the WWE.

The Miz vs. Alex Riley

The fans love Riley more and more every week.  This week there is a massive A-RY sign in the crowd.  The Miz dominates the entire match until Riley sneaks a backslide pin in there and stuns Miz with the victory.  Miz is definitely being set up for a character change sometime soon.  A frustrated Miz attacks Alex after the match.  Miz keeps telling Alex, “I made you” while making Riley black and blue.  Miz is snapping and he decimates Alex.  The only way this would be better is with a little bit of blood coming out of A-Ry’s head.

Vince McMahon comes out to address suspending CM Punk.  Vince says CM Punk wanted a private limo and first class flights, in addition to being on the covers of merchandise.  Vince says Punk didn’t deserve any of it and he’s nothing more than a punk.  John Cena comes out to address the boss.  Cena says Vince claims to believe in the first amendment, until it goes against him.  John Cena insults Vince, and his grapefruits.  Cena still wants to face Punk at the PPV.  Vince says he is afraid of being embarrassed if CM Punk wins and leaves WWE with the big belt.  Cena puts over this match as the  most important match of the year.  Mention is made of Punk riding on the side of Cena’s car at WrestleMania.  McMahon says its not Cena’s company, it is Vince’s and therefore its his decision what is best for the company.  Cena says if he’s so replaceable, then he doesn’t want to be a part of WWE anymore.  John gives up the belt and walks off.  Vince follows him and caves in.  CM Punk is reinstated, he still gets his match at the PPV.  But Vince lays it down for Cena.  If CM Punk leaves Chicago with the title, he will fire John Cena.

Oh this is shaping up to be the biggest must buy pay per view of the year.  Can. Not. Wait.