The WWE Universe continues to say goodbye to Edge tonight, and the WWE writers scramble to book a pay per view in two weeks.  Lets see what happens…

The hype begins for Edge’s final appearance.  I’ll be watching the Edge DVD set and writing up a review soon, but it has to be said:  Edge might be in the top 5 all time.  He did everything, succeeded as heel and face, has hours worth of classic matches.  Like the 80s song goes, “don’t know what you got, til its gone”.

Alberto Del Rio comes out in a suit.  That means no match right yet, he’s here to be a douchebag.  Probably something about Edge should hand him the World title.  Oh look I’m right!  Teddy Long comes out to say we’re not going to do it like that.  Playa.  Teddy says ADR still gets to be number one contender, which is fair even to a heel.  His opponent at Extreme Rules will be decided in a 20 man battle royal tonight.  Which really is the way Smackdown has always solved the problem of vacant titles.  That might be a future column (which brings the total to 2 within this one).

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Kofi Kingston

The rest of The Corre join the announcers for commentary.  There are more headsets being used now than during all of WrestleMania 2.  (See, because it took place from 3 separate locations.)  Corre teases dissent and this group wont last past June.  I don’t mean this to sound awful, but there are so few African Americans in wrestling, and especially in WWE that any time both men in a match are black its surprising.  There should really be more diversity in wrestling, but it is getting there.  Anyway, big Zeke dumps Kofi onto the rest of the Corre.  Why?  Just to show what a bad motherfucker he is.  Kofi gets back in the ring but is still distracted by the now pissed off Corre.  The distraction gives Jackson enough time to hit a big slam for the pin.  That move needs a name.  The book of Ezekiel?  The word of God?  Where is Matt Striker?  Zeke cuts a promo saying he’ll win the battle royal tonight, and a tank like him has a real good shot at it.

Layla and Michelle McCool sit down for couples therapy.  Well here’s something I have no desire to have on TV.  Wow.  This is how to do a lesbian story in a PG world.  McCool names actual couples while Layla names friends who are assumed to be gay in pop culture (like Bert and Ernie).  Layla says she thought they were equals and no one was the leader of the team.  Look how well its working out for the Corre.  Apparently there will be more of this next week.  Well, at least LayCool wont be wrestling.

Cody Rhodes comes out to be all twisted and emo.  Is there any emo name generator out there so we can come up with a new name for Cody?  Oh good there is.  Cody’s name can be Nothing or x.Consumed.by.Love.x.  Both names are great but still not good enough that I want to type them instead of Cody.  Anyways, Cody threatens Rey and Mysterio comes out to smack him around a bit.

Rey Mysterio vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew’s star has crashed since last year.  Last year he would have been my pick for next world champion.  Now I’d be shocked if he got another run with the tag team titles.  Hey, he had those with Cody, who was just fighting Rey.  Is there continuity going on here in WWE?  There does seem to be a pattern in WWE to give a guy an initial push then scale it back for a while to see the mindset of the wrestler.  Sorry, the Superstar.  Drew catches Rey and pendulum swings him into the retaining wall.  Wow, could Drew possibly pick up a win and begin his climb back up the ladder?

This really is a good match, I just wish the match meant something.  Why couldn’t this be for a shot at the IC title?  Anything to give it meaning.  Rey hits a DDT and Drew breaks up the pin by extending his leg over the referee to get the rope break.  Really small detail, but such a nice touch.  Drew will literally climb over anyone to try to get to the top.  Not in this match though.  After a 619 and a top rope splash, Drew is out of this match.   Great match though, Drew deserves to get a push again.

WWE plays one of their amazing video packages, this one a tribute to Edge.  Its an incredible piece and it ends with Edge walking into the backstage area where all of the Superstars show him respect.

Edge comes out to give a farewell speech.  He then leaves, just to come out and have his spectacular ring entrance one last time.  That is a beautiful touch.  As much as the internet wrestling community jokes about WWE booking WrestleMania a year in advance, this man needs to be the headlining addition to the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame.  Edge continues his farewell and throws a couple jokes around too.  Edge bought his suit at JC Penny.  How does a 6 foot 5 guy find a suit at Pennys?  Edge thanks his mother, and the crowd chants “thank you mom”.  Wow.  Any parent who spent years wondering, “am I doing well?”  “have I been successful as a parent?”  Congratulations Edge’s mom, thousands of people just told you that you no longer have to lie awake at night questioning your abilities as a parent.  Edge lays the title down in the ring, and that sadly is the last time any of us will see him hold a title.

WWE plays a preview for their latest movie, That’s What I Am.  This is the one that’s actually getting good reviews.  Its inspired by true events?  This sounds like it needs to be fact checked.  “8th grade, the year that defined who I was to become.”  Well that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard.

Rosa Mendes says goodbye to Edge.  The funny thing is, this could be Rosa’s last time on Smackdown too.  Del Rio offers his hand to Edge, but Edge blows it off.  He should be made at Brodus Clay.  There’s a future trivia question.  Who was the last man to get hit by a spear?

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla

Michelle McCool joins the announcers for commentary.  If anyone is confused about how annoying and sad womens wrestling in WWE has become, then notice that no one carest.  Kelly faceplants Layla outside the ring.  Kelly is about to get the countout win but McCool rolls Layla back in the ring.  Where Layla gets pinned.  So, that didn’t help any.  Also, one of the rare Divas matches that Michael Cole did not interrupt.

Twenty WWE Superstars come out for the battle royal to decide the number one contender.  I’ll call the action as best as one can call action with this many people involved.  JTG is first one out.  This might be a good way to see who will be fired from WWE in a couple weeks when the talent cuts begin.  Trent Barreta is out next.  Big Show punches Heath Slater out of his Wendy’s uniform.  Big Show and Ezekiel Jackson eliminate each other.  That could be a good feud.  Would really build up Zeke.  Chavo is being a sneaky Guerrero and running around the outside of the ring apron.  Commercial break so I’m sure we’ll miss some eliminations.

Or not.  Curt Hawkins is out.  Drew gets eliminated by Brodus.  Brodus could be a new force in battle royals.  Clay eliminates Chavo.  Brodus and Kane square off.  WWE seems to have big plans for Clay.  Kane tosses out Clay and ADR is pissed.  Would Clay have let Del Rio win the title if he had won the battle royal?  Would they have feuded with Clay turning face?  We wont know now but it could happen in the future.

Kofi skins the cat and tries to eliminate Wade.  Barrett holds on and Kofi is out.  Absolutely no attention has been given to Christian being in this match.  Booker finally brings up the fact that Christian is in it, and that he has yet to be mentioned.  Tyler Reks is out.  Yoshi Tatsu is out.  Sorry, former WrestleMania battle royal winner Yoshi Tatsu is out.  Barrett and Gabriel team up to eliminate Kane.  But, every man for himself.  Wade eliminates Masters, who was trying to latch on the Master Lock.  Gabriel kicks out Wade, and the Corre continues to wither.  That moves is as useful in a battle royal as logic in TNA.  We’re down to four, Gabriel, Rey, Swagger and Christian.  Cole takes the 619 to save Swagger.  Oh good, lets continue this story in the bigger story of the battle royal.  Rey is gone and its down to Jack Swagger and Christian.  The best part of Cole taking the 619 is that he is now not on commentary.  Christian goes for his rope flip kick move but Swagger catches it with an ankle lock.  That was nasty.  Christian is hanging on with all his life, and Del Rio trying to pull him out of the ring doesn’t help any.  Swagger gets a running start to get that extra punch and knock Christian out  of the ring, but Captain Charisma ducks down and Swagger flies out of the ring.  Christian wins!

Edge comes out to celebrate with Christian.

Please, WWE, for the love of everything in wrestling, give Christian the belt.  Get it right.  Just this once.