The question continues, who is in charge of TNA?  The better question may be, who is writing TNA?

Mr Anderson comes out and reminds everyone that he is an asshole and accepts his role as not-a-role-model.  Anderson reminds us that Rob Van Dam is not necessarily a law abiding citizen.  Good point.  Well, depends on the state at this point and RVD does live in California.  RVD comes out and the two men very quickly yet very briefly have a fight.  Eric Bischoff, flanked by Immortal, comes out and makes a match for tonight.  Immortal?  I don’t know that much of the group falls into the immortal category.  Standing with Eric are Matt Hardy, Gunner, Nelson and Rob Terry.  Jeff Jarrett might have a chance at being called Immortal.  Karen was a founding member of Immoral.  Eric adds Kurt Angle to the match too, because he’s that kind of bastard.

Scott Steiner cuts a promo for tonight’s impending pose down and does not realize that Eric Young is behind him.  Eric shows off the definition of his neck and traps.  Steiner shows his the definition of freak-o-vision and boots Young out of the room.

Jeff Jarrett and Karen look at wedding dresses with their gay fashion designer named Tad.  Because anyone not in the wrestling world must be gay.  The cameras catch up with Kurt Angle who shares his opinions.  He says the Jarretts aren’t the Von Trapp family.  Was there ever any confusion?  I must have missed that classic wrestling angle where Jerry Jarrett sings Edelweiss.

Eric Young and Orlando Jordan vs. Gunner and Murphy.

Oh look, its time for me to make a sandwich.  Beer Money comes out for commentary.  I turn up the volume so I can hear them while I make lunch.  Beer Money reminds us that they were members of Immortal with GNN.  I find this delicious spicy mustard my fiance bought for me.  Gunner pins Young just as I put the last piece of bread on.  Jeremy saying “your winners, Gunner and Murphy” just sounds wrong.  Its like JB cant remember the guys last names.  Your winners, um, these two guys!

The commercials play and I look up when I hear some terrible entrance music and think “who the hell is coming out now?”  Oh, its Brother Devon.  Crying his eyes out over his former tag team partner attacking his sons.  Bully Ray (wow, what a horrible name) appears on the Nonstop-o-tron and runs down Devon’s sons a little more.  Ray says he’s going to beat up one of Devon’s “brothers”.  Does he mean a relative, or friend, of Devon or just another black guy?  Ray is about to drop someone through a table when Tommy Dreamer makes his return to Impact and fights with Ray.  Was Devon paralyzed with fear and couldn’t go after Ray himself?  It didn’t take long for Dreamer and Ray to make their ways out.  Devon could have run back just as quick.  Devon gets lost in the battle and accidently knocks out Dreamer.  The three way dance no one wanted to see!

Madison Rayne tells Tara that she doesn’t need any help tonight.  Madison wants to prove herself as a champion.  No better way to do that than to wrestle women who haven’t been on TV in months.

Magnus vs. Crimson

Magnus talks to Crimson at first.  He’s no Wolfe but why not team up and give Magnus something to do.  Magnus says Crimson just carries Angle’s bags.  Crimson doesn’t take this well and the match is on.  Hey Crimson it could be worse, you could be Roddy Piper’s bag bitch.  Crimson hits something called the mack daddy driver and then the red alert.  Its real easy to look powerful and destructive when the match only lasts two minutes.  Crimson, look up Goldberg streak online.  Oh, and it was also Crimson’s first singles match on Impact.  So he’s been protected too?  Oh this can only lead to classic matches.

Rob Terry comes out for a posedown with Scott Steiner.  “Lets get this posedown on.”  Fiercer words were never spoken.  “Avengers Assemble!” “Loki we would have words with thee.”  And now, “Lets get this posedown on.”  Terry is in short shorts and nothing else.  Steiner comes out in a suit.  Here’s what is happening in some home in America right now.  A male is watching wrestling.  Either a family member (father or mother, maybe a grandparent) is in the room.  Or its a young man with his new girlfriend in the room.  This non wrestling fan in either situation is tolerating wrestling but not really getting into it.  The male watching it is insisting that wrestling is fun, smart and most of all — not at all gay.  Then this segment happens.  Two over muscled men in silly clothing talking about who has the better body.  Tonight will be the last time this male watches wrestling with anyone else in the room.  It will become his dirty little secret.  Anyways, words are spoken and Terry beats down Steiner, chocking Steiner with his own tie.

Winter and Velvet Sky have words in this continuing not-lesbian story.  Velvet says once she’s done with Sarita’s ass she’s coming for Winter’s ass.  This episode may have just become officially pants free.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett meet with a priest and have to explain their current story arc to the priest. The priest becomes the sanest man in TNA wrestling when he points out how absurd it all is.  “Its blasphemy!”  “No its not, its non denominational”  Okay, that was a great line.  Doesn’t make up for this horrible story, but still a great one liner.

Ric Flair and AJ Styles trade words in the ring.  They debate on who is God and who is the Franchise in TNA.  AJ attacks a senior citizen and Hernandez comes out to save Flair.  AJ hits a Pele kick on Super Mex and continues his geriatric assault.  AJ busts Flair open during this assault.  They don’t even make his kind of blood anymore AJ!  Flair is going to need an IV, or as it was pronounced in his youth, 4.  (Roman numerals joke!)  Hernandez keeps saving Flair from an ass kicking.  Well, a worse ass kicking.  After far too much time Fortune finally comes out to save AJ.  After even more time Matt Morgan attacks Hernandez.  Fortune raises their strange hand gesture in triumphant glory for decimating the elderly.

Madison Rayne (TNA Knockouts champion) vs. ???

Madison issues an open challenge to any woman.  Where the hell did Mickie James go?  Must be some country music bar had an open slot.  ODB returns to TNA!  She’s dyed her hair darker and as Taz pointed out, those are some huge pigeons now and its taking a lot more fabric to keep them from flying loose.  Did Mike Tenay call ODB the most successful Knockout in TNA history?  That doesn’t sound right.  ODB actually hits the kip up and Taz calls it “vintage ODB”.  Thank you ever so much for that jab Taz.  Madison hits her across the knee neck breaker move thing and pins ODB.  She did it without any help too, not a glove or a Tara in sight.  Maybe TNA is actually trying to build up Madison as a legitimate wrestler and champion.

Velvet tells Sarita that she accepts Sarita’s challenge.  There is no way TNA would fire Velvet.  She is arguably the most popular Knockout.

Wrestling’s required talking segment of the show continues into its 10,000th week.  Matt Morgan shows that just because TNA ReAction is cancelled that doesn’t mean the camera crew for the show was fired.  Jeff and Karen continue to waste valuable air time.  And for those of you who weren’t watching at the beginning of the show, TNA provides a history of what led up to the main event.

Mr Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam vs Kurt Angle

This is fucking hideous.  The three former and multiple time world champions bust their ass for what was becoming a good match.  Then the wedding march begins.  Karen and Jeff come out in full wedding attire and Kurt is distracted.  Anderson hits a mic check on Angle for the pin, because, you know, he’s an asshole.

Taz and Tenay hype next week’s episode.

TNA plays a WWE parody for 3-3-11.  I’m not sure if its funny or sad.

I realize TNA tapes multiple episodes at once, but the lack of week to week continuity is astounding.  This week there was no X Division match, next to no Beer Money, no Samoa Joe, Pope, Matt Hardy, Abyss, Motor City Machine Guns, Generation Me (are they still having travel problems?), Jay Lethal, Ink Inc, and lots of mid-card guys.  Most of all, the champion of your company was not seen or heard all episode.  There is no excuse to not have your champion, Jeff Hardy, on the show in some way shape or form.  The champion should always appear on the show.  And if not, it should be played up as a major story.  Not just missing the show so he can meet with his lawyer regarding the drug charges.