The show starts off with Eric Bischoff and Immortal talking to Scott Steiner.  Eric blows off the importance of the Main Event Mafia members who are now in WWE.  Granted, he’s in a difficult spot of not wanting to insult his current place of employment, nor his past employees, but no one could believe that the loss of Sting, Booker T and Kevin Nash would be a good thing for TNA.

Steiner pulls out his big bag of wrestling cliches.  Kurt Angle and Crimson are out to back up Scotty and warn Eric that “They” are here.  Cant imagine that anyone cares at this point.  Why reboot a story from only a couple months ago?  This is the problem of no long term booking.

Ink Inc vs. Gunner and Murphy

Immortal’s security team gets yet another match.  These guys have no story, no momentum, no reason for the fans to care.  They’re just bodies out there.  Ink Inc wins because at least they have charisma.

All talking segment.  Karen Angle, now Jarrett, may be competing with Michelle McCool very soon for the talentless but fucking someone important title of “why is she on TV?”

Brother Ray and the Pope talk about Brother Devon.  No one cares, and this wastes Pope’s talents.  Team 3D comes out, and wins tag titles.  That’s it.  They’re a team that needs the territory days.  Where are your Ring of Honor tag team titles?  Or NWA?  Or Mexico?  Or any of the dozens of smaller US promotions?  Ray and Devon don’t sell tickets as solo acts.  Pope runs his mouth and treads water in the midcard.  Devon and Samoa Joe ungracefully run to the ring.  These are two men who should never be booked for the sudden run in.  Joe and his new lackey, Okada, run off the Pope.  Unknown to fans, TNA writers went to see Green Hornet lately and decided, “so that’s what we can do with the random Asian on our roster!”  Also, Joe is fat, much like Seth Rogan.  Ray, my bad, Bully Ray, because that sounds worlds better than Reverend D-Von (sarcasm icon needed).  Anyways, Ray and Devon fight everywhere until Ray starts attacking fans and then runs away.  If anyone could find a point to this can you return it to the lost and found in the writer’s room?

Jay Lethal vs Jeremy Buck vs Douglas Williams

What is it that’s missing from the X Division lately?  Its been pissed on for so long that the magic is gone.  Sure, TNA is trying to build it back up right now.  But when the ex comes back and says I’m sorry baby I wont hurt you anymore, there’s only so many times you can believe it.  Max Buck comes down to assist his brother.  This works and Jeremy wins the match.

Mr Anderson and Jeff Hardy talk way too much and something clicks in my head.  If I’m not going to order (or try to watch under other means) your PPV, then the talking segments to build said show are meaningless.  Also, I’m at the point where Jeff Hardy just disgusts me.  He’s the Charlie Sheen of TNA.

Mickie James vs. Sarita – Taped Fist match.

Its a gimmick match, but it could be a good one.  Sarita bangs on Mickie’s hand for awhile and Mickie will not be signing any autographs anytime soon.  I think I’ve been watching Sarita in the wrong way all this time.  No, not in the sans pants kind of way.  More like how the works of William Regal or Alberto Del Rio take a while to get used to.  Sarita dissects her opponent with a viciousness rarely seen by women.  Not enough today though, Mickie hits a possibly loaded punch and Sarita is knocked out for the loss.  Madison Rayne sneaks through the crowd and knocks Mickie out yet again.  I’m still not sure how a loaded glove works.

Mr Anderson (TNA World Champion) vs. Jeff Hardy

The champ versus the walking unsafe work environment.  Long match for TV time and not too surprising, it ends with Immortal attacking Anderson.  Immortal reigns supreme and then out of nowhere, AJ Styles holds up the new 4 fingers of Fortune and AJ, Kazarian and Beer Money collectively turn face and take out Hardy plus the rest of Immortal.  AJ hits one of his best Styles Clash in awhile and then the referee is rolled back into the ring.  Wait a minute, twenty guys were in the ring and the ref, unconscious though he may or may not be, doesn’t notice any of it?!  Anyways, Anderson gets the pin.

AJ Styles cuts a promo on behalf of Fortune saying they are taking their home back.  Fortune is They!!!  Awesome swerve.  The TNA Originals are right to take back their company.  Also, someone needs to tell Jeff Hardy that his face makeup doesn’t look cool or creepy, it looks like he’s a washed up drug addled wrestler trying to live off of past glory.  Wait a minute…  Also, AJ says these are the guys that built TNA.  Angle and Anderson count in that number?  At least Angle was there long before Hogan, but Anderson?  And Crimson hasn’t been there long enough to have entrance music.  Is Ric Flair with Fortune or Immortal?  At least I have questions this week and will be sure to turn in next week hoping for some answers.