“For the only time this year” Raw vs. Smackdown.  Which, I’ll give them as it is the only time that the brands themselves fight.  Although, as Edge and CM Punk have just switched programs, and Big Show switched last year, there aren’t that many “dream” match ups to potentially take place during the match.  Which is where the “unknowns” like Tyler and Ezikiel come into play.

 

Three man announce team.  The ring ropes are half Raw red and half Smackdown blue, very nice and unexpected touch.

Dolph Ziggler (Intercontinental champion, with Vickie Guerrero) vs. Daniel Bryan (United States champion)

Good wrestling to get the match started.  Dolph runs away and places Vickie in front of him.  Bryan understands cartoon physics and when he cant go through a problem, he innovates a way around it.  Bryan runs across the ring apron and drives his knees into Ziggler.  Both men are wrestling a “work a body part” style.  We know Bryan is good at this, but Dolph shows a lot of skill.  Striker makes a fat joke about Vickie, the May/December couple is now known as “jiggles and ziggles”.  Striker says Daniel is a “master of the small package”.  And the Slammy award for thing no man wants to be called goes to…   Ziggler hits  a snap fireman’s carry that also hurts Bryan’s arm.  Dolph takes ancient moves and with a little extra spin brings them into the 21st century.  Bryan builds up momentum, including a flurry of kicks to Ziggler’s head and face.  Even the announcers are stunned by it.  That’s always a good sign of a match, if a wrestler can get the announcers to lose themselves in a match they’ve done something special.  Dolph hits a superkick that was turned up to eleven.  Somehow Bryan kicks out of this violent sounding kick.  The two men have earned everyone’s respect and trade two counts.  Bryan is about to be tossed from the top rope but slips under Dolph.  Bryan tosses Dolph for a top rope suplex but Dolph spins for a pin attempt, which Bryan rolls through for a pin attempt!  Announcers are wrapped up in the match, the fans chant “this is awesome” and both these men become stars.  They pull out the RVD/Jerry Lynn two count sequence.  Dolph gets a three count.. but no!  As Dolph was rolling up Bryan’s legs he rolled a leg right onto the ropes.  Rope break and this amazing contest continues.  Bryan is trapped in a sleeper and rolls away from the ropes to get momentum enough to roll into the ropes.  What a match.  Dolph berates Bryan which is the only mistake of the match and Bryan captures the moment.  Daniel gets Ziggler into the Lobell lock and Ziggler taps out.  Dolph and Vickie yell at the referee.  The ref throws them out.   What?  The match is over.  We all assume they’re thrown out of the building for the rest of the night.

Miz and Sheamus exchange pleasantries.  Rest of Team Raw comes in, and everyone argues over strategy.

Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre say there’s no competition for the tag team titles.  A GM E-mail comes out and the crowd boos.  “There is one team you haven’t beaten from Raw”.  The Nexus music plays, and the crowd pops huge.  Wade Barrett introduces tonight’s Team Nexus:  David Otunga and… John Cena.

Rhodes/McIntyre (WWE tag team champions) vs. Cena/Otunga

David Otunga starts off the match and its very weird seeing Nexus booked as the face team.  It doesn’t take long for Cena and Otunga to argue.  Some good ring work taking place, but we all know the match isn’t important.  How the match ends will be, but in this match the wrestling is filler for the larger Nexus story.  Cena gets Cody Rhodes to tap out to the STF.  New tag team champions.  Otunga celebrates with the titles.  Otunga acts like he won the whole thing single handed.  Cena gives Otunga an Attitude Adjustment.  This is brilliant.  Nexus can now be on both shows.   WWE will get tons of free publicity for “Jennifer’s tag team champion husband”.  Possibly Nexus could defend the titles over the Freebird rule.

Knucklehead preview, which actually looks good for a mindless comedy.

Josh Matthews interviews Ted DiBiase and Maryse.

Ted DiBiase (with Maryse)  vs. Goldust (with Aksana).

Goldust has possession of the Million Dollar Belt, and is going to marry Aksana.  There’s your backstory.  Just a straight up wrestling match.  The announcers start throwing barbs at each other for fun.  The crowd is dead, even they know this is a filler match.  Maryse attacks Aksana, and Aksana spends the entire time trying to keep her dress at an appropriate length.  All of this distraction allows Ted to pin Goldust.  Aksana attacks Maryse and steals back the belt.  Aksana teases Ted, which allows Goldust to sneak attack Ted.  Even in loss the golden couple wins.

LayCool comes out and is annoying.  Except for the Brett Farve line which even the hometown audience had to laugh at.  Strikers calls them “Shock Master bad”.

Layla (co-Divas champion, with Michelle McCool) vs. Natalya.

Natalya picks up Layla for a suplex and does squats while Layla is up in the air.  Impressive move.  LayCool double teams Natalya and constantly distract her.  Story becomes Natalya’s strength versus the flexibility of Layla.  Michelle kicks Natalya’s head and Layla gets the pin.  The crowd, which has seen some great moments tonight, is now dead.

Survivor Series commercial that builds up Nexus.

Josh Matthews shows off the grave for tonight’s Buried Alive match.

The Undertaker vs. Kane (World champion) in a Buried Alive match.

Undertaker attacks Kane on Kane’s way to the ring.  This does make a lot of sense, as its the only reason that Undertaker should be introduced first.  His entrance is so iconic that there is no one who can follow it.  Two minutes into the match and the fans are chanting “we want blood”.  Not in this current version of WWE guys.  The fight, as I couldn’t yet call it a match, spills out into prearranged spots in the crowd.  Close enough to give the fans a good view, but not random enough that the Universe might screw something up.  I give credit to the Undertaker for following through with his commitments and wrestling this match.  But its obvious by his limited movement that he is hurting.  While the Undertaker can go against anyone and have a great match, Kane does not have that skill.  Add in an injured Undertaker to Kane’s already limited selection of moves, and this match doesn’t have a chance.  There’s also the finality that is a Buried Alive match.  It doesn’t matter what either man, or any man, does in the ring during this type of match.  The fans know that nothing of note will happen until the combatants are near the burial plot.  Kane lures Undertaker towards the graveyard, and gains the upper hand by throwing dirt in the Deadman’s eyes.  Kane attempts to push ‘Taker in, but Undertaker locks on the Hell’s Gate submission.  Paul Bearer has spent the last 5 minutes waddling into position.  Undertaker pushes Kane into the empty space, and before he can shovel dirt on Kane (because there are rules to a Buried Alive match), he attacks Paul Bearer.  Undertaker is about to Tombstone Bearer onto Kane, when for no good reason Nexus attacks Undertaker.  This is now twice, if Undertaker doesn’t go after Nexus then at this point it tarnishes his reputation.  Kane hits Undertaker with the urn and the Phenom falls into the tomb.  Nexus shovels dirt on Undertaker, this is in tribute to their former teammate, Darren Young, who was forced to return to his career as a landscaper.  Kane dumps a bulldozer load onto Undertaker.  I feel dirty writing that sentence.  Kane keeps the World title, and we are supposed to believe that Smackdown is equal to Raw.  Post match, WWE has figured out how to project images onto the tombstone, and we are to believe that this isn’t the last of the Undertaker.

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.

Team Raw: The Miz (team captain, accompanied by Alex Riley), CM Punk, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, R-Truth and Sheamus vs. Team Smackdown: The Big Show (team captain, accompanied by Smackdown mascot Hornswoggle), Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio and Edge.

All of the wrestlers keep their brand colored shirts on during the match.  Is this so they remember which wrestler is on which team, or a tribute to Ric Flair’s last WWE run?  Reks starts the match for Smackdown and is instantly put over after holding his own against John Morrison.  Tyler then eliminates Santino with the burning hammer.  This sets up what I like to call the Dragon Ball Z booking.  It goes like this, Tyler is now established as a new powerful force because he just pinned Santino.  Jackson comes in next and outpowers Tyler.  Thus Jackson must be stronger than Tyler and in turn stronger than Santino.  The only option left is to stop Ezekiel with an equal opposing force.  And so Big Show gets the tag in, putting Jackson at Big Show level power.  This is akin to when it took thousands of episodes for Goku to defeat Freeza, only for Trunks to whoop his ass in under 5 minutes.

Sheamus hits the high cross to pin Kofi.  The action had become so quick yet not exciting that I didn’t expect a pin.  The many men in the match leads to many tags but nothing looked like it was leading to a pinfall.  Rey Mysterio and Punk start to get into their MOTY level exchanges when Del Rio forces a tag.  Alberto takes out Mysterio, and it may have been the biggest move of his WWE career.  He doesn’t care about Team Raw, or his own team, only his own glory.  That makes Del Rio the most dangerous and unpredictable man on Smackdown.

Punk and Swagger exchange for a bit, which may be the first time.  Fans aren’t on either Raw or Smackdown’s side but they are definitely pro Punk.  Michael Cole says Morrison can escape Swagger’s ankle lock because of his parkour training.  Parkour doesn’t train anyone to twist their ankles.  Either way though Morrison escapes and hits Starship Pain to eliminate Swagger.  King announces “if you become a big star on Smackdown maybe you can make it to Raw one day!”  Ouch.  Striker gets the comeback with “sorry I didn’t book my own territory.”  Only for half the year Matt.

Sheamus eliminates Reks with the Brogue kick.  That kick is becoming second only to the Punt.  Sheamus shoves Hornswoggle, which brings Show out of the ring.  Show and Sheamus fight up the ramp and both men get counted out.  Sheamus could win the WWE title at any time and thus should always look strong.  Maybe Show has a title run in the near future and also couldn’t take the pinfall tonight.

Edge and Del Rio are all that’s left for Smackdown (well technically Rey too but shhhh).  Edge hits spears on Truth and Morrison, eliminating both men.  I find myself very much wanting a long CM Punk/Edge feud.  Punk pins Del Rio with a backslide.  Such an easy move to pin “the future of Smackdown”.  Although because its such a basic move it is surprising any time its used, like tonight.  Rey Mysterio makes his dramatic return to take the hot tag from Edge.  But not yet.  The fans start a “Miz is awesome” chant, which should be a t-shirt.

Suddenly realizing something here.  Out of the 12 men in this match, 8 were major parts of WWE-ECW.  Not too bad for the “failed” brand.

Want to see wrestling chemistry?  Watch Punk vs. Mysterio.  From little moves like Punk bouncing off the middle ropes, to mock Rey, to big moves like the RVD/Lynn two counts exchange.  Rey hits 619 and the splash to eliminate Punk from Bragging Rights.  Ezekiel manhandles Rey, which isn’t a strong enough word for the size difference.  Rey slips when he hits the splash on ‘Zeke and crashes into Jackson’s knees.  Ezekiel is still eliminated but that could be injury causing for the already injury prone Mysterio.  Rey attempts a 619 on Miz but Alex Riley protects Miz and takes the 619 hit.  Rey scrambles to get the hot tag from Edge, Edge runs full force into Miz with a spear for the pin.  Team Smackdown survivors Rey Mysterio and Edge win Bragging Rights.

Matt Striker says, “Smackdown is the B show.  The Best show.”

Wade Barrett (with John Cena) vs. Randy Orton

Wade reminds us all that if he does not win this match he will fire John Cena tonight.  The match starts out slow and it becomes obvious that Orton while WWE champion is not the focus of this match.  The match has been going on for awhile and nothing has happened that’s worth writing about.  Even the ref bump was disappointing.  Which allows Nexus to run in.  This is a horrible main event.  Cena attacks Nexus to even it out.  Wade and Cena argue and Cena says he did it because the referee was coming around and Cena didn’t want Wade to lose by disqualification.  Orton is about to hit the RKO when Cena runs in, to attack Orton?  No, Cena gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment.  Wade wins by DQ.  Cena saw Wade possibly losing after the RKO and kept his job by forcing the DQ.

Two horrible title matches.  My fingers are crossed for Survivor Series, but I am not hopeful.