Ah, the KFC Double Down.  The most disgusting meal in all of fast food.  That is fellow Hellions, Sweet Matty Treats, eating said “sandwich”.

Its two deep fried greasy not-high-grade-chicken-to-begin-with pieces of chicken.  In between these two planks of blood blockers lies two kinds of cheeses, some just as greasy bacon, and the Colonel’s secret sauce.  Vegetables have been left behind.  Maybe there’s some in the sauce.  Not in its original content of course.  But whatever hell beast expunges this sauce from its body may have eaten a vegetable in its undead life and thus part of the genetic makeup of said veggie remained after its intestinal journey.

Speaking of intestinal journeys, the moment you bite into a Double Down the first thought is not, “my goodness, this is a delicious meal”.  No, instead I found myself thinking, “I will be shitting this out with much force and velocity in under an hour”.  The chicken falls apart in the bag, along with all your previous hopes and dreams.  The bacon reminds me of a trim lean cut of rubber band.  Finally the sauce, which makes your tongue tingle like accidently licking lube.

Do your heart a favor.  Eat healthy.  If your food is so bad the bag doesn’t want to hold it, your stomach won’t want to either.