From old MySpace account.  Originally published Tuesday February 10, 2009.

Quotes from Elise

Volume 1:

Kevin: “She was surrounded by bears.”

Elise: “Is she ok?”

Kevin: “Yeah. I mean they didn’t touch her, because, you know, they’re bears.”

Elise: “Don’t bears attack people?”

Kevin: “Bears the animals yes. I’m sorry. She was surrounded by hairy gay men.”

Volume 2:

Elise: “Honey you’ve been with some nasty women. Like really nasty. You’ve fucked women that I wouldn’t eat out.”

Kevin: “Honey, I’VE fucked women that I wouldn’t eat out.”

Elise: “Then why did you do it?”

Kevin: “Because my penis doesn’t have taste buds.”